The Day the Epoch Ran Out of Gas
by Aylakat
Summary: All that for tea. Takes place after the Gift of Song... when Spekkio finds a magic box, and Crono talks like Jar Jar Binks. Something rotten is afoot, and the Poyozo Palace is made to suffer...
1. Default Chapter

** It has since been but a few hours that we last saw our famous crew, stranded in 600AD. Tonight, we see something rotten afoot, as someone makes their way to the Poyozo Palace and establishes their place as an unwelcome guest... and I, the Storyteller, will lead the way...******

**The Day the Epoch Ran Out of Gas**   
****   
**** ****

**"Gas? Since when does the Epoch run out of gas?"**   
**"Well... shouldn't you know this? I mean, you did start to build the new Epoch back when Ozzie and the others stole the first one..."**   
**"Yeah, but I didn't remember to add a fuel source..."**   
**"That's real smart, Lucca. How the heck are we supposed to get back?"**   
**"I'm thinking, damn it! Shoo! Go away! I need silence!"**   
**"Fine, mud bath. I'm gone. Crono, come on."**   
**"No. Meesa no like Marle NO MORE! Marle need switch decaf."**   
**"What? That's it... I swear, Crono, the first words I hear out of your mouth and already I don't like them. I ought grind you up into little pieces and blast you into oblivion!"**   
**"What are you people doing quoting The Phantom Menace?"**

** Over walked Magus, dressed in all of his usual clothes except for his muddy cape, which was on his arm.**

**"Meesa like Magus. Magus no have stick up behind!"**   
**"What? Fine, then, Crono. You just go ahead. Have your little gay duo with mister romantic over there."**   
**"I AM NOT GAY! And since when were you talking, Crono?"**   
**"Meesa like hard balls."**

** Glenn started laughing.**

**"Glenn! Hard balls yummy."**

** Glenn was hysterical.**

**"Okay Crono. Stop talking like Jar Jar Binks. He pisses me off." Magus said.**   
**"Meesa? Jar Jar Binks? Daewoo! Who Jar Jar Binks? Jar Jar Binks like hard balls?"**

** Magus started laughing alongside Glenn.**

**"MEESA NOT FUNNY!!! Meesa throat hurt. Meesa eat hard ball."**

** Glenn fell to the floor, dying of laughter. Magus was laughing also, until he saw Lucca, standing in the Epoch.**

**"What are YOU still doing here?"**   
**"I'm trying to get this damn thing to work!"**   
**"You broke it? Smart move, genius."**   
**"EAT ONE!"**

** Marle shushed Lucca. Glenn was still laughing like crazy on the floor.**

**"That's it, guys... I'm leaving. I'm going to burst a vein or something if you guys keep this up... he he he..."**

** Glenn stood and stumbled into the castle, laughing. He walked into the room holding the Media Crystal, and switched it on.**

**"Yes! Kids in the Hall!"**

** Suddenly, he heard a sound behind him. As he turned, he was barely able to catch a glimpse of long, flowing light green hair before he fell to the ground, unconscious.**

*** * ***

**"Who? What?"**

** Glenn stood carefully. His green hair fell over his face, and he tried to move it away with his hand. Only he didn't have a hand anymore. He had an unidentifiable limb.**

**"What? What is this bleedin' mess on meh? And why do I sound like a bloody Brit?"**

** Glenn hopped forward toward the door. He noticed his legs were gone. It seemed as if he was a frog again. But it wasn't a frog, oh no... it was something else.**

*** * ***

**"Okay..."**

** Lucca examined the front of the Epoch. She grabbed a screwdriver from her back pocket and started to pry out the hundreds of screws that surrounded the exterior of the large time machine.**

**"If Belthasar didn't tell us about a fuel source, there might not be any." Lucca said, grunting to pull out one of the screws.**   
**"Come on, Lucca. How can anything run without a fuel source?"**   
**"Marle, please. It might be possible. You never know..."**   
**"Be real, Lucca. What would it run on? Air?"**   
**"Yeah! Air! Why not? It could work on air."**   
**"Maybe with the wings, but what did it go on before Dalton put the wings there?"**   
**"Well why don't you ask someone who knows, you stupid, annoying, airhead!"**   
**"What? What did you call me? I am SO not the airhead around here, you raging doofus!"**

** Magus couldn't help but intervene to prevent a battle...**

**"Come on, kids. Relax, okay? Not in front of my castle."**   
**"THIS ISN'T EVEN YOUR CASTLE! THIS IS THE GAY YOU'S CASTLE!" Marle yelled.**   
**"I AM NOT GAY!"**   
**"Yes you are!"**   
**"No, Marle, he's not. Trust me. He may be an annoying, arrogant, loud, tall, good looking... stupid, devious wimp, but he's not gay."**   
**"What makes you so sure?"**   
**"I JUST KNOW, OKAY?"**   
**"Girls! Girls! Quiet down!"**   
**"SHUT UP!" Marle and Lucca screamed in unison.**

** Suddenly, from behind, two figures appeared from nowhere.**

**"Flea, remind me never to trust your spells again..." said Slash, who was lying on the ground, with a large piece of equipment on his stomach.**   
**"Oh quiet, Slash. Hello all... I have a gift for you."**   
**"BeBo!" yelled Lucca, who saw Flea had the robot in his arms.**   
**"ITS SABOTAGE ITS SABOTAGE ITS SABOTAGE"**

** BeBo kept repeating "Sabotage" over and over again. Lucca ran to it and shut it off.**

**"I'm afraid its right, Lucca. It's sabotage."**   
**"What the hell are you talking about, Flea?"**   
**"Slash, show her."**

** Slash pushed the heavy box like item off of him and stood.**

**"Listen up, four eyes. As if it wasn't bad enough you had to screw with our singer, someone else f-d us over last night. Look!"**

** Slash positioned the large item, so Lucca could see the small cut in its side. It was about a centimeter long, and less than half a centimeter wide, like an extremely thin sword cut.**

**"What is this supposed to mean?"**   
**"Look."**

** Slash turned it to the other side. There, was another cut of the exact same size. The item had been cut straight through.**

**"That's why BeBo was screaming about sabotage... that's why the tarp ripped! That's why BeBo got his voice back! That's why Marle lost the stage equipment! Someone's sabotaging us!"**   
**"Sabotage? Meesa dunno bout sabotage. Sabotage yummy?"**   
**"Have another hard ball, Crono, and keep quiet."**

**Lucca went back to the Epoch examining its hull. She found a cut, the same exact size. Then, she had an idea. She motioned for Crono to come over.**

**"Yousa need help?"**   
**"Crono, give me your rainbow."**   
**"Deesa? No! Meesa like wainbow. Meesa keep!"**   
**"Hand it over!"**   
**"NO! MEESA LIKE WAINBOW!"**

** Lucca grabbed her wondershot from her side pocket and held it to Crono's stomach.**

**"Give me the wainbow-rainbow!"**

** Crono hesitated, but passed her his sword. She swiftly cut open a large piece of the hull, revealing hundreds of wires and various pieces of unidentifiable equipment. She noticed the large box in the center. It was gold, and on it were words in an odd language...**

**"What is this gold thing supposed to say?**   
**"Meesa no lika. Deesa shiny..."**   
**"Shut up, Crono."**

** Magus approached the box, reading it carefully.**

**"Its in English. Can't you read English?"**   
**"We're not supposed to read English. We're supposed to read Japanese."**   
**"Lucca, what's my name?"**   
**"Magus, the big eared long nosed gay person."**   
**"Shut up. Now my name is Magus, right? If we were speaking Japanese, what would my name be?"**   
**"Ohh... okay, Jacky..."**   
**"Don't call me that."**   
**"Man that name sounds gay..."**   
**"I AM NOT GAY!"**

*** * ***

** A large ship suddenly flew away into the distance, disappearing from sight. Below it sat Spekkio, in the form of a kilwala. In his arms, he held a box with a note on it.**

**Dear Spekkio,**

** I'm sorry I couldn't deliver this to you earlier. The item you requested is here, in this box. Of course, this, at one point, was a person. Unfortunately, we ran into a little problem with our Infinite Improbability Drive, and... well, you know the rest. Enjoy.**

** I still don't like you.**   
** Zaphod**

**"Yes! YES YES YES! I have to go show the others!"**

*** * ***

** Marle and Lucca sat before the Epoch, staring in wonder at the golden box that stared them in the eye. It was very pretty, but complicated. After some short lessons in reading the language that she somehow spoke fluently, Lucca discovered that the odd golden box read "Infinite Improbability Drive." Lucca managed to dismantle the large box from the Epoch's interior, and examined it. Inside there was a strange golden colored substance.**

**"Tea."**   
**"What?" replied Marle, astounded.**   
**"Tea. It has tea inside of it."**   
**"Deesa have tea? Deesa no teapot."**   
**"Shut up, Crono, you sound like Ayla!" said Marle.**   
**"Meesa no Ayla! MEESA CRONO!"**   
**"Yousa sound like a friggin idiot. Go inside."**   
**"Why don't you go, too, Marle." Lucca said, sighing.**   
**"Why me?"**   
**"Because I can't concentrate."**   
**"Fine. Come on, Crono, we'll have a party!"**   
**"I'll have none of that in my home!" yelled Magus, behind them.**

** Magus, who was at that point standing near Flea and Slash, approached the Epoch to see what was the matter. Flea and Slash followed, to Magus's discontent.**

**"Get! Go! Go back to Ozzie!"**   
**"You are so rude, Magus!" Flea yelled.**   
**"That's my job. Back! Go!"**   
**"Fine then. I'm scheduled for a makeover anyway. Come on, Slash."**   
**"I'm NOT getting a makeover!"**   
**"I never said you were getting a makeover. Unless you want me to fix that complexion of yours... I should hope its just my eyesight but you're starting to pale..."**   
**"What?"**   
**"You're almost a sky blue..."**   
**"SKY BLUE? Help me! Help me!"**

** Flea chanted a small incantation, and they both disappeared.**

**"And thus, the start of a beautiful relationship..."**   
**"Quiet, Magus." said Lucca.**   
**"I wasn't talking to you."**   
**"I didn't say you were talking to me."**

** Suddenly, a small white figure started running toward Magus. As it approached, it ballooned into a running red ball.**

**"Magus! Magus! I have it! It's here!"**   
**"What? What do you have, Spekkio?"**   
**"It's a visitor... open it!"**

** Magus took the package in his hands and tore off the note, without reading it. He opened up the box. Inside was a small model truck, red, with fire decals all around it.**

**"It's a car! What are you giving me a car for? Get this junky toy away from me!"**   
**"It's not a toy!"**   
**"I don't care. Take it inside. And I get the Media Crystal first!"**

** Magus shoved Spekkio in the door.**

**"Magus, go inside."**   
**"I'm afraid it's not your place to tell me where to go on my land."**   
**"Magus, please... don't bother me. I still don't like you."**   
**"I didn't ask for you to like me. I asked you to be courteous."**   
**"Magus, just leave! Please! I have to take this damn thing apart and your babbling won't help."**

** Magus snorted, and turned to go inside the castle.**

**"Are you PMSing?"**   
**"What?"**

** Magus ran inside the castle, just as Lucca realized the remark he made.**

**"Damn him!"**

*** * ***

**"What time is it?" asked Marle.**   
**"Its Miller time. Get me a beer." said Magus, as he walked into the kitchen.**   
**"Get it yourself."**   
**"Get me the beer or get out."**

** Marle cursed silently, but then grabbed the drink and threw it to Magus. As she returned to her seat, she felt a crackle beneath her feet. Looking downward, she saw the shards of a shiny white teapot decorated with flowers on the ground.**

**"Uhh, Magus, someone broke your teapot."**   
**"I have a teapot?"**   
**"Correction, you had a teapot."**   
**"Who cares... after everything else that has happened, teapots are the least of my worries."**

** Spekkio walked into the kitchen, coming from the bedrooms.**

**"Hello all... I'm proud to say that the visitor I told you about has arrived."**

** Nobody responded. Magus stood in his corner and sipped his beer. Marle stared at the table. Crono sucked on a cough drop.**

**"Hello out there, anyone wondering who the visitor is?"**   
**"Nobody cares, Spekkio. Me and Crono can't get home, and Magus has his own problems."**   
**"Are you referring to the lady Lucca?"**   
**"Spekkio... please. Just back off." said Magus, tired from the day's events and the lack of sleep that didn't help his condition.**   
**"Fine then. I left the package on your bed. I hope you enjoy it!" said Spekkio, angrily. He ballooned into a Nu and walked outside.**

*** * ***

**"Hmm..."**

** The young girl looked around the room. It was plain, very white. Nothing like she expected. There was a bed on the door farthest from the wall, with windows providing light and a lower level view of the courtyard. There were large closets, where the girl was able to find refuge when the odd looking figure with the box came into the room and left the package. The girl took out the tie holding back her hair. She felt it fall to the small of her back before she adjusted it and tied it up again. She then adjusted her cape, a small, knee length cape, made of blue leather. She then adjusted her belt, which held a sheath. Inside the sheath was a long, thin blade made of pure diamond and filed down so far it was only a molecule thick at any edge.**

** After fixing her clothes, the girl cautiously approached the box sitting on the bed, without a sound. She took the box in hand and opened it, taking out the contents. She held in her hand a small toy car, shining red with flames jumping out the sides and from the top. There were small windows surrounding the sides.**

**"A toy car. He likes toy cars."**

** She grabbed the car firmly by the wheels and threw it at the marble wall above Magus's bed. The red covering of the toy car shattered, the sharp pieces falling on Magus's bed. The wheels separated from the bulk of the car and flew in all directions. The main part of the car dropped on top of Magus's pillow and stayed there.**

**"Hot wheels leading the way..."**

** The girl opened one of the glass windows and jumped out of it, from whence she came.**   
**_______________________________________________________**

**Hmm... who is this girl? What are her intentions? Why is she going out of her way to bother the occupants of the Poyozo Palace? We'll see, next chapter...**


	2. Thapter Cwo

**"Dahmn eet! Steeupid chiahld!"******

** Glenn scampered out from under Magus's bed. He shook his hair away from his eyes and hopped over to one of the shards of red that made it to the floor.******

**"Ahful hayer thaht guhl hahs..."******

** Glenn looked at the small red piece of plastic and examined it. It didn't seem like anything he had ever seen before... not because it was plastic (because plastic wasn't quite invented in their world), but because its shine was... odd... almost as if it magnified any light the bounced off of it. It almost spoke to him, the view so breathtaking... but Glenn dropped the piece of red in favor of something he could use to see his reflection. He slithered over to a small shard of the glass that made up the windows of the toy car, and looked into it. Thanks to his watching of the Discovery Channel, he realized exactly what the girl had made him into.******

**"She tuhned meh intew a newt!!!"******

** Glenn dropped the glass and made his way out of the room. He had to tell someone what happened to him, or that girl could very well turn them all into newts...******

** He ran into the hallway and down the staircase, hoping to find someone who would notice him...******

*** * *******

**"Where's Glenn?"**   
**"Glenn? Meesa dunno. Meesa confused..."**   
**"He came inside a while ago. He's probably watching the Media Crystal in one of my rooms."**   
**"I'm still confused about that crystal, Magus. I've watched it endlessly and yet I'm still unsure of it. How does it work?"**   
**"The T switch means television. Those are the shows you watch, half hour and hour-long shows. The F switch is films. You can watch whatever films are playing. The M switch is music, so you can listen to songs or watch music videos. The O switch is other, for things that go between, like TV movies, musicals, short films, commercials, infomercials, news, or MST3K."**   
**"Interesting... I think I'll go watch that Crystal now, see what is going on inside of it."******

** Marle stood and hopped over the shards of the teapot that still sat on the floor. She made her way past Crono and into the hall. She then felt a small squishy substance under her foot.******

**"Jesus! Magus, wash your floor once in a while!"**   
**"It's not my floor, it's the gay me's floor."**   
**"YOU'RE NOT GAY!"**   
**"Thank you!"******

** Marle sighed and left. On the floor was a tiny green mess...******

**"Cuhre! Cuhre!"******

** Glenn had cast the spell of Cure. A few tiny sparkles of blue light surrounded Glenn's flattened figure and pumped themselves inside him. Glenn then stood, his form back to that of a healthy newt.******

**"She juhst trahmples meh..."******

** Glenn hopped near the side of the wall, noticing a small slime trail that had belonged to Spekkio, when he held the form of an underling.******

**"Anothah ahmphibiouhs creahture hahs ahlready been heah?"******

** A sudden yelp came from Marle's location.******

**"MAGUS! THERE ARE IMPS ON THE MEDIA CRYSTAL!"**   
**"Imps? Oh... she must be watching cartoons..."******

** Glenn pushed himself against the wall to avoid getting crushed by Magus's footsteps.******

**"Are you watching Pinky and The Brain?"**   
**"I... I don't know..."**   
**"Yes, you are..." said Magus, as he looked into the crystal.**   
**"Why does that thing look like an imp?"**   
**"There's a reason for that I won't get into. Quit worrying, this show is just a cartoon!"**   
**"What's a cartoon?"**   
**"Nevermind... I'm going to sleep. I'm bushed. Break the crystal and I'll break your face, got it?"**   
**"Eiww! You are so mean!"**   
**"It's my friggin job!"**   
**"Fag..."**   
**"I AM NOT GAY!"**   
****   
** Magus stomped out of the room, unwittingly almost smashing into Glenn. Glenn followed him quickly up the stairs into his room. His jumping was furious, and his undersides hurt from climbing up the stairs. He followed Magus into his room, where Magus proceeded to take off his clothes, leaving him in boxers, and jumped into his bed. He curled under the covers and fell immediately to sleep. Glenn had no choice but to wait until he awoke...******

*** * *******

**"What? What? Are you okay, Marle?"**   
**"Yeah? Why do you ask?"**   
**"I heard you scream all the way from outside."**   
**"Oh, no, I'm fine, Lucca. I was just watching this cartoon with this mouse that looks like an imp. It was pretty funny, they were trying to take over the world..."**   
**"Are you sure that the shows on this thing have nothing to do with real life?"**   
**"They shouldn't.... are you implying that imps might take over the world?"**   
**"Maybe. What are you watching now?"**   
**"These guys, called the Beatles. They're singing something about how all you need is love..."**   
**"Hmm... what a crock."**   
**"Ohh... be nice. I kind of feel bad for Magus... he seems so lonely..."**   
**"Well he can shove it."**   
**"Ouch..."**   
**"Ouch this. He's a pig."**   
**"He just needs a hug. Bloopy says that hugs cure unhappiness!"**   
**"So hug the bastard."**   
**"Lucca, can't you have any compassion for the poor man?"**   
**"No."**   
**"You like him don't you."**   
**"No, I don't."**   
**"We'll see about that. He's in bed now. Come with me."******

** Marle grabbed Lucca's hand and dragged her up to Magus's room. She opened his door slowly, so that the hinges wouldn't squeak. There, Marle and Lucca watched the lonely figure of Magus, curled up under his covers, sleeping quietly.******

**"Awww... he's sleeping like a baby..."**   
**"He's an idiot. Look at him! Sleeping in the middle of the day... he'll throw his whole body out of whack."**   
**"Since when do you care?"**   
**"I don't. I'm just saying..."**   
**"You like him."**   
**"No I don't. That's like saying that he's gay! It's a simple untruth."**   
**"Whatever, man... " Marle said, as she rested her hand on her stomach. "I'm hungry..."**   
**"Go eat lunch."**   
**"Come with me!" Marle said, as she strolled toward the stairs.**   
**"I'll be there in a sec."**   
**"Why are you still watching him?"**   
**"I may hate him, but he sure is good looking when he doesn't have any clothes on..."******

*** * *******

** The sky began to darken in the evening, as it usually does. What would night be without a dark sky? Anyway, Lucca and Marle were bushed. The only person who got any sleep (and was still getting sleep) was Magus, since he was smart enough to turn in that mid-morning.******

**"I'm so tired..."**   
**"Stay awake, Lucca. Tonight, we're having a party!" said Marle, yawning.**   
**"What party? What for? What's to celebrate? We have no way of getting home, and we might not, ever..."**   
**"Relax! You'll find away to put all those pieces of that little gold box back together and then we'll see. Now come on! There's supposed to be some kind of marathon of scary movies on the Media Crystal and I plan on seeing all of them."**   
**"You really like that Crystal, don't you..."**   
**"Yeah. I just wish there were a way to flatten it so things look better..." Marle said, as she grabbed the crystal.******

** She placed it on her lap and switched it on.******

**"OH! I think this one's called Carrie."******

** The Crystal started to show the film, but suddenly, it fizzled out.******

**"What the hell?"**   
**"Yes! I can sleep now!"**   
**"Shut up, Lucca! I think it's broken!"******

** Marle grabbed the crystal and shook it. It fizzled again, and a small spray of smoke flew out the back of it. She turned it over, and noticed a small, familiar cut on the back of the crystal.******

**"Lucca, take a look at this..."**   
**"Oh my goodness..."**   
**"Lucca I'm scared... who is after us?"**   
**"I have no idea..."**   
**"Lucca, where's Glenn?"**   
**"Glenn? I haven't seen him since this morning..."**   
**"You mean he's GONE?"**   
**"You haven't seen him?"**   
**"No... I haven't seen Spekkio either..."**   
**"What's happening? Where's everyone going?"******

** Marle stood and was shaking in fear… someone had it in for them, and she didn't know who. Her heart was racing, and her breath quickened. Lucca stood and tried to comfort Marle, teeming with paranoia. A sudden sound from the kitchen made Marle jump and scream…******

*** * *******

**"Dahmned deeshehs!!!"******

** Glenn cursed under his breath as he struggled out of the kitchen sink. He had fallen in while trying to search for something to eat. The sides of the sink were slippery, and although newts could normally climb up most surfaces, the slippery surface of a sink was impossible to grasp. He made it out though, with the help of Marle and Lucca's dinner dishes. He made his way onto the floor with a careful jump, and scurried up the nearest leg of the kitchen table. As he arrived on the top, he managed to pull out an apple from a fruit bowl in the center of the table. Not surprisingly, he couldn't eat it… he had no teeth.******

** Instead, he managed to pull out a grape from the bowl. If he was lucky, he could just manage to swallow it whole…******

** As Glenn stuffed the miniature fruit into his mouth, Lucca pushed Marle into the kitchen to try and calm her down, with either with a drink or a sedative…******

**"LUCCA! THERE'S AN ALIEN ON THE TABLE!!!"**   
**"What?" Lucca said as she rushed to Marle.**   
**"LOOK!"**   
**"Marle… its just a salamander!"******

** Glenn tried to speak. He had gotten someone's attention!!! But the grape was lodged in his throat, and nothing would come out…******

**"A salamander?"**   
**"It's a lizard type thing. Just leave it alone, it will go away. Those things are so gross…"******

** Glenn wanted to scream at her. "I'm a newt! I'm a newt! Its me!" But he could not… he barely had enough airflow going to his lungs, and talking was impossible.******

**"It's so slimy!"**   
**"So?"**   
**"I don't like slimy things…"**   
**"You get used to slimy things. I had to get used to Frog…"**   
**"Well Frog was different. But at least he's Glenn now… or he was…"**   
**"What are you trying to say?"**   
**"I don't know, Lucca…" Marle said, tears welling up in her eyes.**   
**"He's not dead! He can't be!"******

** Glenn tried to bang his little newt hands on the table, but nobody heard him. He even tried to wiggle his green hair, but Marle didn't notice.******

**"I know…"**   
**"Marle, don't say such things. If Glenn went anywhere, it was on his own terms. He wasn't kidnapped, he wasn't killed, he wasn't hurt. I just know it."**   
**"How? How can you know it? Lucca, someone is after us!"**   
**"Glenn can protect himself! He is stronger than he was now that he's a human and not a frog."**   
**"Well… I mean… what if Magus turned him into something else? What if Magus did it?"**   
**"You honestly think that Magus would turn Glenn into an animal again?"**   
**"He might… I mean, you never know…"**   
**"And I suppose you think Magus would sabotage his own concert and then destroy his own Media Crystal. He wouldn't do that. Even I know that."**   
**"I suppose…"******

** Glenn gave up trying to get attention. He was concentrating on getting the grape out of his throat…******

**"I'm still worried, though. I mean, people are disappearing one by one… where is Crono?"**   
**"Crono went to sleep a while ago."**   
**"In what room?"**   
**"Don't worry, I checked on him, he's fine."**   
**"Lucca, I'm still worried."**   
**"What do you want me to do about it?"**   
**"Wake Magus up."**   
**"Why?"**   
**"Because he can protect us."**   
**"You haven't been watching enough Oprah… you don't need a man to protect you. All of us can protect ourselves. You can still heal, I can still burn things to a crisp, Magus can still blow junk up, Crono can zap anything to smithereens, Glenn can drown anything that moves, and Spekkio just plain can't die."**   
**"I need a man to protect me, okay? I'm a stinking weakling!"**   
**"That's obvious…"******

** Glenn was practically choking. He banged his head on the table, trying to dislodge the large grape.******

**"Do you really want to go up to Magus's room?"**   
**"Yes, Lucca. I think we should all stay together."**   
**"Fine. I'll go..."**   
**"Thanks, Lucca!"******

** Marle stood and took Lucca's hand to drag her out of the kitchen. Glenn gave his head another bang, and he was able to spit the grape right out of his mouth.******

**"They couldn't wait ahnother meeneute!" said Glenn, angrily. He jumped off the table and decided not to follow them… he had a better idea.******

**__________________________________________________________________________________******

**Things are growing much more uncomfortable within the confines of the Poyozo Palace… as time goes on and night passes over, much will make itself known…**


	3. Bungholitio Three BayBEE (silly gurl)

_"So close, no matter how far..._   
_Couldn't be much more from the heart..._   
_Forever trusting who we are..._   
_And nothing else matters..._   
_Never opened myself this way..._   
_Life is ours, we live it our way..._   
_All these words I don't just say..._   
_And nothing else matters..."_

Magus sat on his bed with his guitar, singing the song that he had intended for Lucca, Nothing Else Matters by Metallica. He envisioned Lucca... as the words emerged from his throat… 

_"Trust I seek and I find in you..._   
_Every day for us something new..._   
_Open mind for a different view..._   
_And nothing else matters..."_

He didn't know that Marle and Lucca were listening outside the door. 

"I think this is the song he was going to sing to you!" Marle whispered. 

Lucca sighed. She almost felt bad for him. Almost.__

_"Never cared for what they do..._   
_Never cared for that they know..._   
_But I know..."_

Lucca listened intently. She understood everything he was saying... it could only fit in his situation. But why did it have to be her? 

"Umm... hey, uh, Magus?" Marle said, quietly.   
"Do you need something?"   
"Yeah... Umm... me and Lucca were just a little scared..."   
"Just you!" said Lucca, correcting Marle.   
"You can come in."   
"Wow! Thanks!" Marle yelled.   
"Don't get used to it. I'm on a nice streak. It should run out any day now..." 

Marle dragged Lucca over to Magus's bed. Marle jumped to his side and sat next to him, eyeing his biceps. Lucca trudged to his other side and sat quietly, staring at the bed sheets. 

"What are you people so scared of?"   
"It's... well, someone's out to get us, and I thought we should all stay together..."   
"What about the other two, Glenn and Crono?"   
"Crono's downstairs, he'll be fine. But Glenn is what I'm worried about."   
"He's gone?"   
"Yeah..." Marle said. She suddenly turned toward Magus, looking at him eagerly, pushing her chest outward.   
"Magus... will you protect us?"   
"Cleavage, Marle. Put it away." Magus said, turning toward Lucca, noticing that she had laid back and fallen asleep.   
"She's gone..."   
"So will you protect us?"   
"You don't need protection. You still have your magic, and your crossbow, somewhere... where do you keep that thing anyway?"   
"It's none of your business. Are you going to protect us or what?"   
"Oh... alright... but--"   
"You promise?"   
"Okay... I promise."   
"THANKS!!!" 

Marle grabbed Magus and wrapped her arms around his midsection, grasping him tightly. Magus lifted his arms, but couldn't manage to shake Marle's hormone driven behavior. Somewhat disgusted, Magus gave up and put his arm around her shoulder. 

* * * 

Crono slept in the bed. It was a large, comfortable bed, with tons of pillows on it. But for some reason, something felt sharp… whatever it was, it poked him awake. He stood and shook his red locks, noticing small shards flying from his spikes. He shook out his clothes too, after taking them off. They were full of holes. Crono thought about it for a second… and tried to backtrack his steps… he walked into the room, didn't bother turning on the light because he didn't need it, then he just pulled back the covers and jumped in… 

Crono went to the wall and switched on the light. He examined the bed and the floor, finding sharp pieces of red material all over. He had slept on broken pieces of something… 

He examined the floor closer, looking for more pieces of this red material. He noticed a large hunk of metal on the floor beside his pillow… he picked it up and examined it. It looked like some sort of toy that was supposed to be on wheels. However, there was only one wheel in the corner. Crono decided to go show Lucca, see what she could make of it. As he left the room, he bumped into Spekkio, who had just walked inside. 

"Hello, Crono."   
"Where Spekkio been?"   
"Outside, sleeping. I like sleeping in the trees… its so relaxing…"   
"Spekkio weird."   
"What are you doing coming from Magus's room?"   
"Magus woom? No Magus woom. Magus change woom."   
"Oh… what's that you're holding?"   
"Toy."   
"A TOY?" 

Spekkio grabbed the hunk of the car from Crono's hands and examined it. His eyes started tearing up uncontrollably… 

"Did you do this?" asked Spekkio, as he cried.   
"Me no do. Deesa there." Crono replied, pointing to the room.   
"Who did this?"   
"Meesa dunno."   
"Crono? Do you realize what this was?"   
"Meesa no care. Meesa tired."   
"It's the end of the world as we know it…" 

* * * 

Marle squeezed Magus's midsection tightly, squeezing the air out of him. 

"You are awfully toned..."   
"Put the sex drive away. The last thing I need is another girl lusting after me with no intentions of commitment." 

Marle was shocked. 

"Did you just say that?"   
"I said that."   
"And you're sure you're not gay?" 

Magus was fed up with being called gay. Unable to take it anymore, he threw Marle's arms off of him and pushed her down on the bed, his arms forcing her shoulders to the mattress. 

"Go to sleep." 

Magus let go of her and left. Marle, who was almost scared, wondered if she had crossed the line... 

* * * 

Magus sat in the next room, deep in thought. Why was everyone calling him gay? He had no interest in the male figure at all, except for his own, which was totally natural. He had never liked men, nor would he ever. The entire thought made him cringe. But why do they insist on saying things like that to him? And why do they refer to a time when he was gay, if such a time never existed? 

And what was with Lucca and Marle? Why were they so eager to be with him, now that they found his liking for music? Magus wondered, thinking back to the days when he would watch the E! True Hollywood Story at night. They did have histories of musical groups, with some of the events in those shows pertaining to his past, the days when the band first existed and he was still in his teenage years. But things weren't like that anymore. Back in the day, concert nights would lead into liaisons with many young women. But that wasn't the case anymore. 

But why? It wasn't the same anymore. If he still acted as if he were seventeen, he would have given in to Marle's needs in a heartbeat, as he did with Lucca. But it was different with Lucca. He had started to see her differently... and actually began to have feelings for her, which he had never ever had before. But after Lucca's harsh public rejection, he felt empty. Sighing, Magus laid back on the bed. 

What was his problem? Was he in love? No... Magus had seen his share of soap operas and bad romantic comedy movies. Love wasn't a problem he had to deal with, at least not yet. He was just tired of being by himself all the time, with nobody to share with, nobody to spend his time with, nobody to talk to, nobody to take care of, nobody that would take care of him. It was then that Magus realized his real problem. 

He was lonely. 

* * * 

Crono sat at the kitchen table. Spekkio told him to wait there while he examined the pieces of the toy car in the room that he thought was Magus's. Crono took the Media Crystal in his hand and set it on float, after turning it on to something called "News Radio." But it fizzled out shortly, and dropped to the floor, shattering into a hundred pieces. 

Crono stood, avoiding the sharp glass. He jumped on the table to protect his feet and jumped outward, towards the front room, where he walked to go and sit by the windows. At first he was surprised by what he saw… the same painting of Magus in white that had been sitting there ever since Magus's "transformation" that hung on the walls. But he ignored it, and sat on a large comfy couch. 

Glenn was there too, walking behind him, following him. If he couldn't get anyone else's attention, he'd have to try to get the attention of Crono… and somehow decipher his odd Gungan dialect. Glenn dared not move too fast, it might make Crono angry, and he was liable to chase him with a broom, or worse, his sword… 

A figure emerged from the shadows on the far wall. Her silvery eyes glowed in the darkness, as her hair shook in the wind, even though there were no windows open. 

"Who you, girl? Deesa Magus castle!" 

He was barely able to finish his statement before the girl chanted a small series of words. Crono's body began to glow white, then green, as his body shrunk. Glenn watched in horror as he turned… 

Into a baby kangaroo. 

Crono bounced off the couch and tried to run toward the girl, but she lifted her cape over her head and disappeared into nothingness. Crono wanted to scream at her… he tried to hard… but all that would come out of his mouth was a song. Glenn ran over to Crono, and started yelling at him. 

"Crono! You're a bloody kahngahroo!" 

Crono just sat and hummed Beethoven's 9th Symphony. 

"Crono? Why ahre yeeu huhmming? Say some bleedin' wuhrds! I duhn't care abeeut your ahccent, I hahve one teeu! I sohnd British!" 

Crono started to hum Chariots of Fire. 

"EES DAHT YOUR AHCCENT?" 

Crono nodded. He continued to hum. Glenn noticed the top of Crono's head. It still was adorned with Crono's red spikes, the only thing about him that ever gave him away. This gave Glenn an idea. He told Crono about a simple idea... Glenn would grab Crono's hair, and Crono would ride them both to safety, right? 

Crono, setting the mood for Glenn's ingenious plan, hummed the William Tell Overture. Glenn snatched onto Crono's tail and climbed upward toward his red locks, unaware that he was grabbing too hard. Crono started hopping wildly. Glenn was unaware that he was squeezing too hard… Crono galloped all around the room, bouncing off of the couch in pain… 

* * * 

Meanwhile, Marle, who had dozed off after Magus left, awoke suddenly at the sound of the crash. Her heart was pounding in fear. She shook Lucca awake. 

"I heard something."   
"What? Uh?"   
"Lucca, I heard something. A crash came from downstairs."   
"Oh... wait... downstairs? CRONO!" 

Lucca jumped from the bed and followed Marle into the hallway. 

* * * 

Magus heard the sound loud and clear. Something very valuable and very fragile managed to find its way to the floor. Sighing, Magus stood from the bed and walked into the hallway, finding Marle and Lucca waiting there. 

"Aren't you two supposed to be asleep?"   
"There was a crash and it woke us..."   
"Hmm." 

Magus began to walk casually down the stairs. 

"Wait! You said you'd protect us, right?"   
"You still think you need protection?"   
"Please..." Marle pleaded, while a silent Lucca rolled her eyes.   
"You haven't been watching enough Oprah." 

Magus turned again and walked down the stairs with Marle and Lucca in close proximity. Magus noticed the shards of glass crystal on the floor. 

"Magus, I swear, it wasn't like that before. Honest. I didn't do it."   
"I didn't say you did. You were in my room."   
"I know... but I didn't tell you that before, the crystal had a sword mark in it..."   
"The same familiar mark?"   
"Yeah..." 

Sighing, Magus turned and walked forward, down the halls near the front door, and turned into the front room, where he heard someone humming a piece of classical music... 

* * * 

Crono hopped around the front room, bouncing off of the furniture. Glenn was barely able to keep hold on Crono's hair. A shadowy figure made its way through the doorway into the front room. Crono recognized the figure of Magus as it emerged from the lighted hallway, and he ran toward it, stopping short a few feet in front of Magus, sending Glenn flying, hitting Magus in the worst of all places… 

Crono couldn't help but start humming the theme from the Nutcracker. 

"Crono? Is that Crono?"   
"No, Marle it's a kangaroo with a feather duster on its head! Yes its Crono!" replied Lucca.   
"Magus! Magus turn him back into Crono!"   
"…Can't you see… I'm in a bit of… pain... here???" said Magus, in agony.   
"SO?" replied Lucca. 

Glenn managed to lift himself from the floor, in a daze. He didn't know that he went flying… 

"Crono… bloody idiot…"   
"Glenn?"   
"Mahgus?"   
"That was you! That friggin hurt!"   
"Whaht huhrt?" 

Magus did a small chant while hunched over, and he turned Glenn back into a human. 

"Thanks! That was annoying!" 

Magus looked up and stared at him angrily. By then he had recovered, and chanted another small spell, turning the kangaroo back into a human. 

"Meesa Crono? Thank Magus! Green hair girl, turn me kangawoo!"   
"Yeah, and she turned me into a newt!"   
"Umm… guys, I'd hate to interfere with this little game you have going," said Marle, "But I'd have to remind Glenn and Crono that they're not wearing any clothes." 

Glenn and Crono looked downward, realizing they were right. They went running to try and find their outfits, while Marle and Lucca caught glimpses of the two racing nudists. 

"It's a ladies world, isn't it Marle…"   
"It certainly is, Lucca."   
"Could you girls put your hormones away? Although I'd like to say that I turned those two into odd animals with strange speaking habits, the fact is that I didn't and someone else did."   
"Magus is right… we may have Glenn and Crono back, but the person who did it is still out there, and is after us." 

Magus thought for a second. Someone, obviously a girl according to Crono's and Glenn's ranting, knew magic. And knew some good stuff too. This girl had to be pretty powerful to be able to turn people into animals. However, the girl probably wasn't a master of the art, since the spell hadn't been completed. If the girl had done it correctly, Glenn and Crono wouldn't have kept their hairstyles. 

"What are you thinking about?" asked Marle, breaking Magus's silence.   
"Thank you for making me lose my train of thought. Now go back to bed!"   
"Fine, but you're coming too, right?"   
"Yes. Just go. Shoo! And take a cold shower! Or take any shower for goodness sake…" 

Marle took the arm of Lucca, the walking zombie, and dragged her away. Magus stayed behind, thinking carefully, until he noticed a small glint on the floor. It was a strand of hair. 

"Jesus... this looks like dental floss..." 

Magus was referring to the hair's incredible thickness, and wondered about the shampoo the girl was using, so he could get some of his own. Also, the length of the hair was incredible, longer than Magus's own beautiful blue hair. After careful examination, though, Magus discovered split ends. 

Wrapping the strand of hair around his fingers, he turned and made his way into the hall, after Marle and Lucca. After walking into the kitchen, he noticed everyone sitting at the kitchen table, with Spekkio standing there at the farthest end. 

"Did you do this, Magus?"   
"Do what?" 

Spekkio pointed to the heap of scraps on the table. In the center was a hunk of metal, around it, familiar scraps of red and silver metal with broken glass. 

"Someone broke your toy, Spekkio?"   
"This wasn't a toy!"   
"It's a fake car. It has no worth. These people don't even know what a car is!"   
"I know what a car is!" said Marle. "I was watching this thing on the Media Crystal back before the concerts, and they had this show with this car. It had a nasty title though. It was named something like 'Goop' or 'Crust' or something..."   
"Grease?"   
"Yeah! That! Grease Lightning!"   
"Where do you think I got my stage name from?"   
"Grease Lightning, Janus Lightning! It still sounds cheap though."   
"As cheap as that dye job on your head?" 

Lucca managed to hold Marle back, as she was about to attack Magus for his remark. 

"Can we get back to the point here?" asked Glenn, weakly. "We're all tired here, especially me, since I've been a newt for the past thirteen hours!"   
"Glenn, Crono... Lucca, Marle... Magus... I'd like you all to meet what's left of the most important thing in the world."   
"It's a car. How can a car be important?" said Magus, at the end of his string.   
"Spekkio, we have more important things to think about. I have to figure out how to fix the Epoch's Infinite Improbability Drive so we can get home!" added Lucca, managing to talk through her sleep.   
"Infinite Improbability Drive? Well, I mean, they have one of those in Ozzie's Fort, but the--"   
"Ozzie's Fort?" asked Lucca.   
"That's right, I forgot... Ozzie has one, he uses it to power the castle." said Magus.   
"But the toy car is--"   
"I'm looking to get you people out of here, so come on, who is coming with me to Ozzie's?"   
"I can't swim like a frog anymore, so count me out." said Glenn.   
"I'm not carrying Crono over the water because he's to heavy." said Magus.   
"You can carry me in your arms, Magus... like that Superman on the Media Crystal..." said Marle, winking.   
"Lucca?"   
"Fine, but if you try anything I'll toast ya."   
"Deal." 

Magus and Lucca made their way out of the castle, while Spekkio yelled to no avail. 

"Okay, well, I--"   
"I'm going to bed." said Marle.   
"Me too..." Glenn added   
"Meesa sleepy too." Crono said also. 

Marle, Glenn, and Crono all left Spekkio to go sleep in separate rooms. Spekkio sighed and sat on a nearby chair. 

"Why do they ignore me?" 

________________________________________________   
Hmm…. So we see, Spekkio's car seems to be really important to him, but for what reason? And what about this new mission presented to go and find a new Infinite Improbability Drive? Hmm… mayhaps more might be revealed in the next chapter…   



	4. I like Pie

"Okay. It's either over my shoulder, or in my arms."   
"Whichever is safer. I've never flown before."   
"It's less of a fly then a glide."   
"Which position is safer?"   
"I'll carry you."   
"Fine. One arm on the back, one arm under the legs. If I feel any roaming hands I'll fry you."   
"Who has the roaming hands here? You grab any unmentionables and I'll drop you."   
"Can we get going?" 

Magus grunted as he lifted Lucca into his arms, and took off into the air. He glided along with the wind currents carefully, managing to keep hold on the shaking and nervous Lucca.. As he was about halfway across the ocean, Lucca's wiggling made Magus lose hold of her upper half. He managed to grab her by the ankles before she fell into the ocean depths. 

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO???"   
"You better keep still unless you want me to drop you!"   
"Magus, get me up!"   
"The only way to get you up is for me to throw you and catch you!"   
"DOOOOOOON'T!!! I'LL STAY LIKE THIS!!!" 

Suddenly, something hit Magus's right arm, making him lose grip on Lucca's ankle. She dangled helplessly from his one hand as Magus tried to regain control of her. Magus felt a sudden push from behind, as if something large bounced off of his back. Acting in anger, Magus took his arm and flung Lucca up into the sky. While the screaming Lucca soared into the sky, Magus turned and sent a fireball at the shadow that loomed in the distance. He watched as the ball smashed into the floating shadow and sent it to the ground. 

Lucca stopped screaming as she stopped gaining altitude. Her life flashed before her eyes as she plummeted to the ocean ripples below... she stopped breathing, and managed only to feel the cool sprays of the waves before Magus caught her in his arms and bolted toward the nearest land. When they finally made it to land, Magus sent the wide-eyed, shaking Lucca on the ground. 

"Are you okay?" said Magus, somewhat but not entirely worried about Lucca's shock. She only squeaked in response.   
"Are you going to answer me?" Magus said, as he knelt beside her. He watched as she felt around the ground, to make sure that she was on it. She sat up and looked around once again, at the plains of grass all around her as she hyperventilated. She then looked at Magus, who was still kneeling next to her. She burst into tears and clasped her arms around Magus's neck. 

"Why does everybody have to hug me?" Magus asked, as he hesitantly put his own arms around Lucca's shivering waist. He lifted her and helped her get her feet on the ground, so she could stand. He let go of her and turned to start walking toward their destination, but Lucca could barely manage to move her legs. 

"What? Did you forget how to walk?" 

When he got no reply, he walked plainly over to Lucca and lifted her in his arms yet again, but she screamed and clawed at him, so he put her down and walked beside her as she moved extremely slowly. You could guess that it took forever to get to Ozzie's Fort. 

* * * 

"Come on, just give it."   
"NO!"   
"Give it!"   
"NO! You can go back to your gay castle with your little mute girlfriend, without the Infinite Improbability Drive!"   
"I AM NOT GAY! And she's NOT my girlfriend! Now hand over the Infinite whatever you call it!"   
"NO! NO NO NO!"   
"Dammit Ozzie, I want that stinking Drive!"   
"NO!"   
"I'll give you cheesy poofs..."   
"NO!"   
"Snacky Cakes?"   
"Sna- NO!"   
"Salty Chocolate Balls?"   
"Salty whats? Are you hitting on me?"   
"I AM NOT GAY! NOW HAND OVER THE DRIVE!"   
"NO!"   
"I'm going to cast Darkmatter if you don't give it here!"   
"Why don't we have some tequila first?"   
"What?"   
"You get the Snacky Cakes, I'll get the good stuff. It'll be a party!"   
"How's about you get me the tequila, and the Infinite Improbability Drive, so I can get the stiff and her two cronies back to their home?"   
"Where do they live, anyway?"   
"That's not important. All I know is that they should be there, and not here."   
"No." 

Magus snarled and took Lucca over his shoulder, and started walking farther into the Fort. 

"I'll get it myself."   
"WAIT! NO! Flea! Slash! Don't let him back there!" 

Slash ran out of a room on the side, his face and head covered with goop, with slices of cucumber that had fallen off of his eyes sticking to it. 

"What? Who? What's the problem?"   
"Slash, get back here! You need more Fox Noodle!" 

Magus pushed through the two partially made over Mystics and made his way down the halls and around, through the small hidden passageway that had previously led him to his best weapons and armor. After searching through the back, he found the hidden stash of now broken musical equipment, and finally, the generator. Right in front was the small, shining gold box. 

"Okay, Lucca, work your magic." 

He let Lucca to the ground, as she grabbed a screwdriver from her belt and carefully removed the screws and various attachments holding the box in place. After it was removed (while Magus held back the still partially made over Slash) they could hear the generator slow to a halt. But there was still a slight whir coming from deep within the walls that Lucca couldn't understand. 

"Put it back! Put it back, nerd!"   
"Lucca, ignore him. Let's go." 

Lucca ignored the both of them, and started searching along the length of the wall. 

"NO! DON'T LET HER DO THAT!"   
"Aww, come on, Slash, let her see it. It's really nothing special..."   
"NO! That's where they make the Inter-Dimensional Media Crystals!"   
"Be nice... let her see it. Come on, I've been awfully nice lately... you should try it, really..."   
"NOOOO!" 

Lucca pushed along the wall until suddenly a large set of bricks pushed forward and to the side, opening a small hole leading into the most incredible sight Lucca had ever seen. It was a factory running deep underground. Assembly lines were still slowing to a halt as Lucca watched the confused Imps below run around frantically, trying to save their inventions. 

"Dear God... she found it..."   
"Yup, she did. You know, I need another Media Crystal, would it be okay if I went in there and got one?" 

Magus gave Slash a final smash across his face and sent him sprawling to the ground. Wiping his hand on his pants, he walked over to Lucca and helped usher her into the hole. 

"Here it is. The factory. This is where they build all of the Media Crystals." 

Lucca walked around in awe, looking at the machinery. The assembly lines were all connecting, each end leading to another section, making it very efficient. It started in the back, from what Lucca could see, with melting pots containing molten glass. The glass was then molded and cooled, with each newly formed crystal going forward past a few more vats containing an unknown blue liquid. The liquid was poured through the small holes on the partially flattened bottom. The filled crystals were moved toward another bunch of working imps who put the little black switches together. Finally, a newer mechanism was added also on the bottom, which was what made it float. Finally, the crystals were glazed and set to dry, and boxed as a finished product. 

"Isn't it beautiful?" 

Lucca, who hadn't spoken all night/day, once again, didn't reply. 

"There's a whole world underground that you haven't seen. Nor has anybody. In fact, you're the only non Mystic who has ever seen this." 

Magus walked over to a bunch of boxes and grabbed one. 

"You want one?" 

Lucca nodded. Magus took another box and threw it to her. She managed to catch it while still keeping hold on the delicate Infinite Improbability Drive. Magus also grabbed a large white bag with straps on the end. 

"Time to go..." 

Magus looked over at all of the angry Imps who gathered behind the gates leading out of the working area. None of them dared approach Magus, since they all knew his strength... they worked for him, they should know. 

"Hi everybody! How are you all doing today?" Magus said brightly, waving to the imps, who gave no reply. "Oh, I'm super! Thanks for asking!" 

Magus walked Lucca back through the hidden door and shut it as he left. He stepped over the still unconscious Slash and made his way past the angry Flea and Ozzie. 

"Where are you going? And you think you're actually taking those crystals with you? Those are to be sold to the residents!"   
"Well, we're residents now. Goodbye."   
"Flea, get him!"   
"I don't want to break a nail! I just did them!" 

Magus walked Lucca outside. He took the bag and opened it, and put his box inside. He took the other box and the gold box inside of it, and then dropped the other box inside of it. He then tied the box around his boot so it could be easily carried across the oceans. 

"Are you ready to go?" 

Lucca took a step backward and shook her head. She still didn't speak a word. 

"Lucca, come on... I promise I'll make it quick." 

Lucca walked forward again, pleading silently for Magus to find another way back to the castle. 

"Lucca... don't do this... I don't know about you but I'm looking to get home." 

Lucca had tears in her eyes as she pleaded. Her voice made a slight whining sound. 

"Aww... poor baby..." Magus said, as he suddenly gasped in horror. "Did I just say that?" 

Lucca nodded. 

"Am I getting... soft?" 

Lucca smiled somewhat, feeling relieved that she wouldn't have to fly any more. However, that relief was short lived. Magus grabbed her in his arms and lifted off the ground, the bag hanging from his boot. Magus flew forward quickly, as he tried to stop Lucca from screaming and crying. 

"Shut up!" 

She kept on screaming and crying and flailing her arms somewhat, fearing the worst. There was no way to keep her from shutting up! Magus tried cupping his hand over her mouth, but she kept screaming loud enough to be heard through it. He pushed his hand harder over her mouth, trying to keep her wails silent. 

"Pipe down! We're almost to the castle!!!" He said, barely audible over her screams. "What will it take to shut you up?" 

Then Lucca bit him. 

"Owww! What the hell was that about?" 

Lucca screamed louder and scrambled to hold onto Magus, who was only supporting her with one hand as they soared through the sky. She latched onto his cape, her fingers ripping at the cloth that held the cape around Magus's shoulders.. 

"Don't do that! You'll rip it! Shut up! I'm going deaf!!!" 

She gripped harder at his clothes as Magus wrapped his still hurting hand around Lucca's waist. Lucca hung from his neck, pulling his head downward, unknowingly bringing herself closer to his ear, which she constantly screamed through. And finally, Magus used his last and final resort. He kissed her. She promptly stopped screaming while Magus's hesitant lips were on hers. And Magus, who hadn't wanted to feel that feeling again, had to put up with it all the way home... 

Magus stumbled to the ground, landing on one leg, and resting the bag on the ground with the other. He pulled his lips away from Lucca's, who was still holding onto him. 

"Lucca, can you let go of me?" 

Lucca wouldn't move. She was stunned and rigid, and couldn't budge. Magus managed to remove his cape and left it with Lucca, as he untied the bag from his foot and carried it within the doors of the castle, leaving behind the Drive and the second Media Crystal. 

* * * 

"What's with you people?" 

Magus walked into the brightly-lit kitchen, and glanced at Crono, Marle, and Glenn, all of whom were staring at a small ball of turquoise hair in the middle of the table. 

"Hello? Are all of you okay? Can I do anything for you?" Magus gasped again at the fact that he just said yet another oddly sweet thing. "Damn me! I'm going soft!"   
"Magus, take a look at this." said Marle, finally looking up.   
"Its hair."   
"I was rummaging through your cabinet, looking for some food, when I came across some weird things. First, there were these little silver things with prongs at the end... four of them on each..."   
"Like a fork."   
"A what?"   
"It's a piece of silverware, one of the, uh, inventions made by the Mystics..."   
"Mystics make inventions? I thought they were all stupid, seeing as Ozzie and the other two represent them..."   
"The little imps are smarter than you think. Continue..."   
"Anyway, there were also these little wooden sticks..."   
"Chopsticks."   
"Whatever. And then I found a large container full of these little things... they were all wet, and there was this weird smelling tea on the bottom..."   
"Teabags. It's an easier way to make tea, which I don't drink anyway. What does that have to do with this hairball?"   
"Don't ask me how, but I managed to pull Spekkio away from the pieces of that shattered toy, and made him drink some of that liquid inside the container..."   
"A regular chemist, aren't you..."   
"Shut up. Anyway, he passed out cold, and I can't bring him back, although I know he's still alive. Thing is, he coughed this up." Marle said, pointing to the hairball. 

Magus looked over to his counter, and noticed the very container sitting open on the countertop. He approached it and lifted it, swirling around the liquid as it ran in between the tea bags. Dipping his middle finger into the liquid, he placed a drop on his tongue, trying not to swallow. He then washed his hands and mouth out in the nearby sink after placing the container back on the counter. 

"It tastes almost bitter... sort of like almond... I think its formaldehyde."   
"Bless you."   
"What?"   
"You sneezed."   
"No I didn't. I said it was formaldehyde."   
"Bless you." 

Magus turned to Marle, who was as clueless as ever. 

"Ehh... thank you."   
"So where's Lucca?" asked Glenn, breaking his personal silence.   
"She's outside, in a state partial consciousness." Magus replied.   
"What? How?" asked Marle, jumping up from her seat.   
"I don't know, but she's out of it."   
"What happened?"   
"Oh, she almost died a few times, nothing special."   
"Jesus Christ! You just left her there?"   
"She'll be fine. She's probably just a little shocked. If anything were really wrong with her, I'd have carried her inside and rested her on a bed." 

* * * 

"Lu? Lucca?"   
"Yeah... Yeah... I'm fine... Just a bit shocked."   
"That bastard left you outside."   
"Oh, let him be. I really don't care." Lucca said, as she raised her fingers to feel her lips.   
"So I guess its time to get this thing together, right?"   
"Yeah... where's BeBo? I might be able to use its help."   
"I think he's stacked somewhere inside. I know I moved it into Magus's room..." she said, turning toward the open door to the castle. "HEY! MAGUS! Go get BeBo!" 

Magus called a reply outward, as he approached the doorway and began to turn to his left, into the front room. 

"Get it yourself. That robot is a bore, and it certainly can't carry a tune." 

Magus turned into the front room and let out a deep yell, as he jumped backward in shock. 

"What the hell is that?"   
"What is what?"   
"That! That painting!" 

Marle looked into the windows providing a view of Magus's front room, and sure enough, there was a painting of him, dressed in white armor and cloth, a sword at his side, with his hair tied up in a ponytail. 

"Is... is that a painting of you?"   
"That can't be me!"   
"It's you... in white! I think that was what you looked like when you were gay!"   
"I AM NOT GAY!"   
"You know, Magus, white isn't a bad color for you. It beats out all of that stupid purple you're always wearing..."   
"I like my colors! And besides, why are you people concentrating on me? Go! Go home! And safe trip.... AARRRGH!" Magus slammed his door shut.   
"Jeez... he's really different..."   
"Yeah, I know. He's not like he was back when he was fighting with us." said Lucca, as she stood. She opened a small compartment on her belt and took out a screwdriver. Then, wiping the dirt off her body, she grabbed the Infinite Improbability Drive and started working on the Epoch. 

* * * 

"I can't believe this... this absolutely appalling picture of me!" 

Magus stood on the couch and lifted the painting off of the pins that held it on the wall. He held it in front of him and stared at it. It was him, all right, sitting happily, dressed in shiny white clothes and armor, with a sword at his side. His hair was tied up high, and it fell in front of his ears and onto his shoulders. As he stared, he noticed a small inconsistency in the paint, as there was a small dark spot right in the neck. Upon closer inspection, though, Magus noticed it wasn't the paint at all, it was a small slit, the exact same size as the other cuts, made with the exact same sword. 

"Hmm. I guess our assailant knew good art from bad..." 

Magus managed to break the hard canvas into several pieces and carried it into his kitchen. 

"What's that, Magus?" asked Glenn, who was still staring at the hairball.   
"It was some dumb painting that was in the front room..."   
"That painting of you?"   
"Hmm."   
"You mean this is the first time you're noticing it? It's been there for more than a month and a half!"   
"What, you think I've explored this castle fully? I haven't had time to! I've either been practicing with the band or protecting that little air head from a nonexistent danger."   
"Marle or Lucca?"   
"Which one is dumber, Glenn? The one who can build one of the most complex machines of her time, or the one who forgets she has ice magic and is afraid of everything under the sun?"   
"Ah. Understood."   
"I'll be in my room." 

* * * 

Magus walked inward slowly, removing his armor and undershirt, and lying on his bed, tired from the long and annoying trop alongside that loud girl... although he couldn't help but think of her sad face, her meek smile, her look of surprise when she uncovered the underground mystic lair... the way her lips felt, and her tongue... 

Magus sighed some, but ignored the anxious feelings in the pit of his stomach that told him to go to her again. Instead, he moved backward toward his pillow and daydreamed, thinking of what it would be like to play again on stage, without anyone else... just him, just as he was young, singing deeply... playing powerfully... his body sweating, his arms moving, his fans screaming for more of him... the girls rushing onto the stage for him, begging for attention... the blond one on the left, the redhead on the right, the purplehead in his front... 

Lucca... 

He reached his arms under the pillow, on the verge of falling asleep, and adjusted his tired arms. And he felt something hard, something not normal on a soft bed... he sat up and removed the pillows, and there he saw it, the worst site he could ever see... his beloved guitar, his only creative output... his vitality, sliced straight in two across the base. Carefully lifting the halved instrument in his arms, noticing the only piece still intact was a single string holding the top to the bottom. 

He carried the guitar carefully in his arms, passing by a room where Crono and Glenn sat, talking. 

"...So that was it? One night together and she dumps you? But why?"   
"Meesa dunno..." 

Glenn looked up suddenly as he saw Magus enter the room, his beloved instrument dangling in his arms... 

"Oh my God... who did that?"   
"I-I-I-I-I I don't n-n-n-n-know..." Magus stuttered.   
"Take Lucca! She fix!"   
"I'm sorry, man..." Glenn said calmly 

Magus bowed his head and turned to continue on his way to Lucca's location, staring at the dulled red pieces of his favorite machine... 

* * * 

"So thirsty..." 

Lucca stumbled into the kitchen. She was mostly done with installing the Infinite Improbability Drive within the hull of the Epoch. To be sure that their unknown assailant wouldn't damage this particular piece of equipment, Marle stood guard before the Epoch, warning Lucca that if she saw or heard anything funny she'd go running... 

Lucca searched through Magus's refrigerator. 

"Hmm... Beer, beer, beer, white wine, more beer, lemon juice, and water... I need something with taste!" 

She looked around all over, but only saw the container on the counter. 

"Old tea. That'll do for now..." 

She lifted the container to her lips and took a swig.... 

"Lucca! Don't drink that!" Magus yelled, as he entered the kitchen. He dropped the guitar to the floor and ran to catch Lucca as she started coughing and slumped to the ground... 

"Lucca! Lucca! MAARLE!!!" 

* * * 

The sudden shriek of her name made her jump straight out of the Epoch, a reaction sending her running into the castle, down the hallways, and into the kitchen. She barely had the time to speak before she saw Lucca, slumped backward over Magus's arm. He was slapping her back and forth in the face. 

"What are you doing to her? Let her go!"   
"She drank it!" he yelled, as he lifted her off the ground.   
"Drank what? The poison?" 

She followed as he carried her into an empty bedroom and laid her there, giving her taps on each cheek, trying to wake her. 

"Magus, move out. Lock the door behind me. I've got work to do." 

Magus agreed, and squeezed Lucca's hand, before he let go of her to walk away. Behind him, he could see Marle sitting at her side, chanting quietly, before he closed and locked the door. 

"What happened?" asked Glenn, as he came from the stairs, with Crono at his side.   
"Meesa hear Magus yell!"   
"She drank it..."   
"Drank what?"   
"The poison... I should have drained that but I didn't... and she's poisoned..." 

Magus stared at the floor below. It was covered with bits and pieces of various objects... the old Media Crystal, the teapot, some of the shreds from the broken car, various liquids... it was a pure mess, but Magus didn't bother to take care when stepping over it. He could hear the crunches of the material under his boots as he plopped downward into a chair. 

"Is Marle trying to heal her now?"   
"Yes... yes she is..." 

Crono's head sunk as he sat down across from Magus. He buried his head in his arms and began to cry. 

____________________________________________________________________   
The assailant has gone too far. Lucca's poisoned, and on the brink of death. The Epoch remains unfixed, so the crew has no way of getting home. Worst of all, the assailant is still on the loose… is it possible that she might go too far? 

Stay ready for the next chapter, as Magus spills his guts, and Lucca does too (in two totally different ways)… and the young girl is finally revealed to be……… 


	5. Uhh...?

The Day the Epoch Ran Out of Gas Part 5   
  
By The Storyteller   
  
Hours seemed to pass as Magus, Glenn, and Crono sat in their kitchen. They could see flashes of light from under the door, as Marle furiously summoned several different healing spells of varying strength. Glenn, in boredom and worry, tried to curb his own worries by discovering the new Media Crystal and setting it up, moving between the channels, searching for any type of humorous content, but even through the funniest shows, he couldn't laugh. Suddenly, Marle opened the door.   
  
"How is she?" Magus jumped to ask. Marle's face was somber, and her shining wet cheeks from both tears and sweat were in plain sight. She stuttered as she tried to hold back her cries.   
"She's alive, but catatonic... I can't revive her, at least not now."   
  
Crono's hopeful face returned to sadness as his head dropped back into his arms.   
  
"I guess you guys better say your last words to her..."   
"Wait... I might know something, I'm sure I have a revival spell somewhere..." said Magus, standing.   
"You can try it."   
"I can't be interrupted though, you'll have to stay away from the door..."   
"No problem."   
  
Magus approached the doorway, and gave Crono, Marle, and Glenn one last hopeful look as he shut the door behind him.   
  
He pulled up a stool and sat on it, beside Lucca's body.   
  
"Lucca?" he asked, as he looked at her blank face. "Lucca... this is so hard to understand... of all people, we would figure that you would be smart enough to at least check what you were drinking..."   
  
He brushed his fingers across her cheek, and removed her glasses, placing them to a table on the side. He removed her boots and pulled down the covers from under her, replacing them on top of her body and tucking them under her sides.   
  
"I know you can hear me... I know you can wake up..."   
  
He brushed the hair from her forehead and felt it, as if trying to check for a fever.   
  
"I know you can wake up at any time, right? So why don't you? Why won't you come back to us?"   
  
There was no reply. Magus removed his hand from her face.   
  
"Is it because of me? Is it because you still hate me? Is it because I kissed you?"   
  
He wiped a small tear from his eye.   
  
"I didn't like to hear you scream, Lucca... honestly, it was the only thing I could think of to make you stay quiet on the way back here... but even now I can think of a hundred different ways I could have kept you from yelling..." he said, laughing slightly. "I guess I had something in me that wanted to kiss you... and there's something in me that wants me to kiss you now..."   
  
He placed a finger on her lips.   
  
"The truth is... I liked doing it... your lips were soft and warm, and it was a feeling that I hadn't ever had before. It was just beautiful... and if you really want me to be honest with you, I kind of got a warm fuzzy... you know, the feeling you get when something makes you so happy it just goes through you..."   
  
He moved his hands across his cheeks, wiping away the small tears falling from his eyes.   
  
"You make me happy, Lucca... its a real happiness I've never had before... not even back home, with my sister... its deeper... and it won't go away... I know you hate me, you made that clear back when you embarrassed me in front of the entire mystic world... but even then that feeling wouldn't go away from me... I thought I could drown it away, you know, just forget about you, but I can't..."   
  
He took her hand in his own and held it, feeling the soft texture of her skin and the beauty of it even though it was partially covered with dirt and grease from working on the Epoch.   
  
"I think I'm falling in love with you, Lucca... and it hurts… it hurts a lot... it hurts me enough that I can't have you, so why do you have to punish me by pulling this stunt? Please come back to us, Lucca... we miss you..."   
  
He stood and planted a slight kiss on her forehead.   
  
"...I miss you..."   
  
He turned toward the door, and noticed a face peering inside at him. He immediately started wiping his cheeks, trying to remove any remnant of his emotion.   
  
"It was that spell I tried... it put a lot of pressure on the face..."   
  
Marle emerged from the door, and walked to him, planting her arms around his waist.   
  
"It's okay, Magus... I heard everything... I was actually hoping I could learn something, but instead I heard... probably the most beautiful thing you have ever said."   
"Please... don't tell anyone..."   
"I won't. I promise. But I'm telling you right now, Magus... she's coming back, and I will make sure of it... and when she does make it back to us, she'd be a fool not to realize just how good she'd have it with you."   
"...Thanks, Marle..."   
"I speak only the truth..."   
  
She let go of Magus, and rubbed a friendly hand down the side of his arm.   
  
"Magus... just tell the guys that you had allergies. It works every time. Now go... I have to try something..."   
  
Magus smirked, and left the room.   
  
* * *   
  
"How is she?"   
"She's still out of it..."   
  
Glenn sighed, and laid a hand on Crono's shoulder. Crono, surprised, stood immediately and wiped his eyes, sniffled, and walked into the room. Glenn started switching channels on the Media Crystal, still searching for something of worth to watch.   
  
"Oh... Magus, there's this other switch on the crystal... I was afraid to try it..."   
"Go ahead, I don't care..."   
  
Glenn switched the Media Crystal over to the new letter, P.   
  
"Why don't I look under YOUR hood!"   
"Would you like to se my BIIG BEEEEAUTIFUL headlights?"   
"I'd like to sink my DIPSTICK into THAT!"   
  
Glenn immediately shut off the crystal.   
  
"Odd film..."   
  
Glenn turned off the floating mechanism and rested the crystal on the table. Sighing, he took a look around the room. He saw Crono walking back toward the kitchen, tears in his eyes, as Marle forced him out. He looked at the floor, which was covered with scraps of broken material from all sorts of different things. And then he saw Magus, his face unmoving as it rested in his hands, his eyes blank and red.   
  
"Hey, Magus, what's with your eyes?"   
"Oh.. uhhhh..." he said, with Glenn barely able to make out a slight wavering in his voice. "Allergies..."   
"Oh... okay..."   
  
A sudden coughing came from one of the other rooms. The sounds of vomiting could be heard, as liquids fell to the floor and splashed against the marble tile underneath. Magus's head jumped in the air, listening to where the sound was coming from. Was it Lucca coming to life?   
  
"Oh! That tasted nasty!"   
"Spekkio..."   
  
Spekkio stumbled out of the room, his bulky Nu figure bouncing off the walls like a rubber ball. His front was covered with a brown film.   
  
"Jesus, Spekkio... I have a shower..." Magus said, cringing at the sight of Spekkio.   
"Formaldehyde! Where is she? Where is Marle? Why did she make me drink that?"   
"Damn it Spekkio, keep your mouth shut!"   
"Why?"   
"Marle's trying to revive Lucca... she drank the poison."   
"What? Purge it!"   
"What do you mean, purge it?"   
"Purge it from her! Get it out of her system!"   
  
Magus jumped out of his seat and rushed into the room to tell Marle, only to see Marle holding back Lucca's hair as she threw up on the ground.   
  
"Syrup of ipecac... it said on the bottle to use it if someone swallowed poison..."   
"Where'd you find it?"   
"In the upper cabinets, near some bottles of pills and junk. Some Advil junk, Midol, and something called a Viagra..."   
"VIAGRA???"   
  
Magus looked down at Lucca as she finished spewing the contents of her stomach on the ground. His nose twitched, trying to ward away the fumes of the disgusting fluid. He looked at Lucca, coughing loudly, gasping for air, and smiled. His heart told him to run to her, to help her, but his conscience told him to ignore it, to act calm and just watch Lucca regaining her consciousness. He called out to Glenn, Crono, and Spekkio, who was still recovering himself from the poison.   
  
"She's baaaack!"   
  
Crono could be heard running toward the room, stopping just behind Magus, as he smiled brightly at the sight of Lucca hurling onto the floor. Glenn followed suit, but Spekkio remained in the kitchen, still recovering from the spasms of his vomiting.   
  
"Come on, Lucca, let it out..." said Marle, reassuringly. "That junk looks so nasty..."   
  
Lucca's wretches and coughs calmed, and her breathing slowed as she recovered. Magus watched her intently... even in her worst, she was still somewhat elegant and certainly still beautiful, even if she was spewing her guts onto his floor. He listened carefully as well, at her breaths, her constant heaves... he heard heaving though, even after Lucca stopped to look up at the entire gang that surrounded her. The heaves were loud and fierce, and they certainly weren't coming from Lucca at all. Magus, confused, followed the sound, walking around the room, carefully avoiding the brown pool that was on the floor. He made his way over to the closet doors, and everybody, including Lucca went silent... as well as the heaving. Curious, Magus carefully opened the closet door, revealing a young girl, huddled on the ground, holding her breath.   
  
"And who, might I ask, are you?"   
  
The girl carefully opened her eyes and looked upward, at Magus. Immediately, she unsheathed her sword and lunged at him, but he was able to grab her arm. Instinctively, he started punching her, and he threw her over the bed. The girl, unscathed, regained her footing and kept her sword up, in her hand.   
  
"You deserved it... all of you deserved it!"   
  
Scared to hell, the girl turned and ran right into Crono, who was standing in the doorway. She bounced backward onto the floor, but quickly stood, holding her blade to Crono's throat.   
  
"Move or I'll kill you."   
  
Crono smiled, and drew his Rainbow from his side at incredible speed. He held it at the girl's throat and watched as she slowly stepped backward, and Crono, intimidating her, smiled some and followed, ever so slowly. The girl laughed nervously as she retreated. Sheathing her sword, she flared her nostrils and shook out her hair.   
  
"Fine. Defeated. Right? NOT!" She yelled as she threw her hands in the air, twisting and turning them around until a blue light formed, and immediately she threw it at Crono. It surrounded his midsection and sent him groaning as he held his stomach and hunched over. Magus reacted by casting his own spell. A barrage of black orbs surrounded him as his arms moved. He then pointed at the girl, and a black ball of darkness exploded onto her, and she fell to the ground, gasping, wounded.   
  
"Who are you?" asked Lucca, still hunched over on the ground.   
"She's from the castle... she's the one who was sent to ruin the concert!" blamed Magus.   
"She turned me into a newt!" yelled Glenn.   
"She's the one who almost killed you, wasn't she..." said Marle, as she let go of Lucca's hair. Something suddenly occurred to her. "What's this about the castle?"   
"Umm, Marle, why don't you let me tell you about that later, okay?" said Magus, laughing somewhat.   
"Hmm. She looks like the queen." said the girl, as she stood.   
  
Magus didn't hesitate to give the girl what was due. He took her by the collar and lifted her, holding her high in the air as her legs dangled helplessly.   
  
"So it WAS you. You ruined the equipment. You ruined the robot. You damaged the Epoch. You broke the car. You turned Glenn and Crono into animals. You sliced my... my... red... and then you damn near killed Lucca..."   
"If it makes you feel any better, you beast, I didn't mean to try and kill her!"   
"WELL YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE POISONED THE TEA! I'd have a good mind to spank your little pre teenage rear until it bleeds!"   
"Now now, Magus, no need for domestic violence here..." said Marle.   
"Oh, I'd only expect it out of him, Miss Leene Jr. He wouldn't know how to be a father."   
"Father?" asked Glenn, confused.   
"What are you talking about, father? I don't have any kids!"   
"Well, you had my mother and then she had me. That is the way it works, doesn't it..."   
"You lie."   
"Would I lie?"   
"Of course you would. You're a scheming brat!"   
"And you need a haircut!" yelled Glenn. Everybody gave him a strange look.   
"You know, you do... That green mess you call hair ought to be trimmed..." said Magus. "Crono... duck!"   
  
Magus threw his arm into the air, and managed a simple "come hither" motion with his fingers. His scythe made it way out of its closet hiding place and came flying toward Magus's hand. As he grabbed it, the girl managed out of her cape and jumped toward the far wall. Standing tall, she lifted her arms and prepared a magic gesture, which was interrupted by Lucca, who was giggling.   
  
"What? What's so funny, dead girl?"   
"Umm... you're standing in my throw up..."   
  
Magus started laughing also, along with Crono and Glenn, and eventually Marle, who got used to the disgusting look of the vomit. The girl glanced downward at her boots, and noticed the liquid on it. Knowing she would be unable to shake it, she looked back upward at Magus, who was hysterical. He threw the girl's short cape into the slop, as yet another insult. The girl was fuming.   
  
"SPOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!" "What did you say? Did you just scream SPOON at me? You've been watching a bit too much of The Tick..."   
"Uhh, Magus... look at your scythe..." said Glenn, as he stopped laughing. Magus gazed at his weapon of choice, which had apparently turned into a giant spoon.   
"You're awful." said Magus, referring to the girl's magical skill.   
  
Suddenly, from nowhere, a small black box on the kid's belt started talking.   
  
"Sylvia! Sylvia! Come in Sylvia!"   
  
The girl reached to grab the small box, but Glenn swiped it from her hand.   
  
"I don't think so. Hey Magus, you have a make on what this widget is?"   
"Hand it over."   
  
Glenn tossed the box over to Magus, who nabbed it in his free hand.   
  
"Sylvia! Report!"   
"TK-421 do you copy?" asked Magus, as he pressed a small black button on the side of the little contraption.   
"Sylvia! Don't play games with me! If you don't give me a straight answer, I'll be coming inside!"   
"NO! MOM, DON'T!" screamed the girl.   
"TK-421! Back to your post!"   
"Oh no... quoting Star Wars..."   
"You guessed it. If you want your scheming little brat back alive, you had best make yourself known!"   
"I'm coming to get you, Sylvia! Sylv--"   
"Quit your bitching and show yourself!"   
  
There was no answer from the other side.   
  
"Wow, that's some contraption... hey Lucca, could you build one of those?" asked Marle, laughingly.   
"I recognized that voice..." said Magus, as he threw the contraption on the bed.   
"Are you going to give me back my Walkie Talkie?"   
"No. Now why is it that I remember that voice?"   
"Because that's my mother! The woman you screwed twelve years ago!"   
"There were a lot of them, kid."   
"Yeah... I'd bet I'm not your only kid, either..."   
"I don't have any kids. You're not my kid, you're a whining child who manages to break everything she gets her hands on!"   
"What? You miss your precious guitar? Your precious Media Crystal? Your precious toy car?"   
"YOU BROKE IT!"   
  
Spekkio pushed Crono out of his way and stumbled into the room, carrying the hull of the toy car within his red fingers.   
  
"YOU BROKE THE CAR!"   
"It's a stinking car. Who cares?"   
"YOU BROKE THE ENTITY!"   
  
Everybody's eyes looked at Spekkio in confusion.   
  
"You mean the Entity that Lucca mentioned the night we got Robo back?" asked Glenn.   
"Yes, that Entity!"   
"Why didn't you tell us, Spekkio?" yelled Marle.   
"Because none of you gave me the chance to break the news! The Entity came to give us a message of the coming Apocalypse and you ignored it! And now… now it's gone… and our very existence will slip from us… the world is about to stop existing, or never exist at all…"   
"I broke that damn toy ages ago!"   
"You keep your mouth shut, brat!" screamed Magus. "Spekkio, if that stupid car was really the Entity, wouldn't the world have ended by now?"   
"I… I don't know… the Entity is the source of existence as we know it… it created magic, it created time, it created life… it created me. I'm finished… without the Entity, none of that can continue to exist!"   
"Me and the brat just used magic a few minutes ago."   
"I… I don't understand it…"   
"Spekkio, you've been swindled…"   
"No, no, Zaphod wouldn't…"   
"Zaphod? Who is Zaphod?" asked Marle.   
"He was a character from a book, Spekkio. A relatively silly book, a good book, but certainly not a factual book!" said Magus.   
"It was a series of books and they were all true! All of them! Don't you realize that all this stuff you read, all this stuff you watch… it all exists! From other dimensions!"   
"Spekkio, that's why they call it the Inter-Dimensional Media Crystal." mocked Marle, tired.   
"All those dimensions exist! ARRGH! Can we get back to the point here?"   
"You lost me, Spekkio." said Magus.   
  
A banging could be heard loudly from the wooden doors leading into the castle. Magus listened intently as he heard them open and shut, and he heard footsteps follow, and then the voice cried out…   
  
"SYLVIA!"   
"Oh dear God no… not her… anyone but her!"   
  
The woman searched around the castle and found her way into the room, where everyone was standing around the young green haired girl. The woman pushed past Crono and Spekkio, and saw her daughter, standing, poised and ready to fight… standing in a puddle of spew that invaded the woman's nose.   
  
"Sylvia! What are you doing standing in that goop!"   
"Not you… not you!" said Magus, worriedly.   
"Oh what, Janus Lightning? Afraid you'll never see your favorite fan ever again?"   
"Umm, who are you?" asked Glenn.   
  
The woman adjusted a wide pink bandana holding back her red curls from her face. Placing her hands on her hips, she slightly fixed her long, simple brown dress, and adjusted her dark green jacket.   
  
"My name is Janice." She said, haughtily.   
"Hmm… still as nasty as ever, aren't we, you slimy wh-"   
"Don't say that about my mother!"   
"Janus and Janice… that's awfully odd…" said Marle, placing her finger on her lip thoughtfully.   
"Your mother wasn't the cleanest woman on the planet, kiddo."   
"And neither were you!"   
"I'm not a woman."   
"Could've fooled me!"   
"You keep your mouth shut, brat!"   
"Don't say that about your daughter!" the woman screamed.   
"I don't have a daughter. This kid doesn't belong to me at all!"   
"Yes she does, Janus, yes she does!"   
"Please… I wasn't a stupid teen back in those days…"   
"ONE NIGHT! ONE NIGHT you said not to use it, and ONE NIGHT is all it takes!"   
  
Magus looked at her solemnly, digging deep into his memories of those long years ago… before the wars, before he took the name of Magus… back when he was still playing his guitar, the first time, back when Flea still had pectoral muscles and not a C cup… remembering the hundreds of fans, mostly women…   
  
"You were awfully good looking back then, Janus Lightning. What happened?"   
"Oh shut up, you ugly old bag. Magus is still hot!"   
  
Marle, realizing she said that out loud, covered her mouth with her hands in surprise. Magus cocked an eyebrow as he looked at her. She giggled.   
  
"Why thank you…" Magus said, laughing slightly.   
"Yes, whatever you say… Leene?"   
"Not quite queen Leene…"   
"Who are you?"   
"Why should I tell you? I only talk to people who are worth it."   
"Now are you going to take your little girl or what, Janice?" said Magus, returning to his angry state.   
"She's yours too. And I want you to help take care of her!"   
"She's not my kid. You can't prove it."   
"Look at her ears! And her hairline! A widow's peak!"   
"She's right, Magus…" said Glenn, as he examined the girl. "Her ears are stretched outward, and her hair is definitely yours…"   
  
Magus eyed the girl carefully, noticing the small details of her that resembled him… but he ignored them.   
  
"I'll have none of this." He said angrily. He pointed at both the woman and the child. "I expect both of you to be gone by the time I return here to help Lucca."   
  
He stormed out of the room, as the woman called behind him.   
  
"We were supposed to be exclusive, Janus!" Magus spun around and looked her straight in the eye.   
"Janice, nobody is exclusive at seventeen. I wasn't looking for exclusive. And I know you weren't either. Her father could be one of many, maybe hundreds of men. You're a slimy little whore and I will not have your dirty self in my household!"   
"I'm the slimy one! I'm not the one who had a bunch of different girls in my room every night!"   
"At least I swore my habits off soon after I started them… which can't be said about you!"   
  
Magus turned the corner and stormed into the upstairs.   
  
"Okay, lady, you heard the man. Take the girl and go." Said Marle, as she helped Lucca up from the ground.   
"We'll be back… my daughter will not be denied a father for much longer! Sylvia, come on!"   
  
The girl hopped past the puddle on the ground and grabbed her cape off of the floor. Following her mother, she left the room, but only after sneering at everybody else left.   
  
.   
  
Daughter? What? Is this another Steven/Liv Tyler story? Or is Janice just pulling Magus's crank? And what shall remain of existence as we know it, now that the truth has been revealed, and the broken toy car was really the Entity? Why hasn't the world ended yet? We shall see.   
  



	6. Something rotten is afoot. Put yer shoe...

Magus sat at the kitchen table later on, sipping at a glass of white wine he had found chilled in his refrigerator. Propping his head up on his arm thoughtfully, he began to conjure up his memories of Janice from over a decade ago.   
  
He remembered how she always managed to make her way past the hordes of female fans to spend time with Magus and the rest, how her and Magus always were spending nights sharing the same bed, how he would tell her lies that when they got really famous they would be together, although Magus knew full well those weren't his true intentions. To him, it was all in good fun.  
  
But Magus wasn't so stupid as a teenager, he knew exactly how to keep such events like children from happening. He always took advantage of that Mystic technology that the overworld never knew about... those small little "coverings" that he always had a good supply of. He knew there was never a time that he wouldn't be prepared, whether or not he was with Janice or one of his other fans. He could imagine, even then, that not being prepared could lead to tons of problems, in the form of babies…  
  
But Magus remembered how he eventually became deeply depressed, knowing all of those fans weren't spending good times with him for his personality or his music, it was just for his image. And when he stopped committing those acts of sin with the hundreds of female fans, the only person he would keep around would be Janice, who was always sporting her pink bandana, never showing exactly where her bangs were on her head. She was a saucy redhead, and Magus respected her a lot… he had no feelings for her truly (the only person he could care about was himself) but she was certainly a good time when his hormones kicked in.  
  
But he still wasn't stupid enough to be careless. He had only made that mistake once in his life, that singular being his first with the red headed woman, or any woman for that matter…  
  
"So is she really yours?"  
  
Lucca emerged from the hallway, and sat down at the table across from Magus. She was dressed in a pair of tan pants and a black undershirt, that of which she found in Magus's closet. Even in his junk clothes, he thought she still looked adorably cute.  
  
"Where'd you get my clothes from?"  
"Crono searched them out for me, so I could wear them after I cleaned up. And thanks for that tooth stuff…"  
"Toothpaste and a toothbrush. I sincerely hope you figured out how to use it correctly…"  
"Yeah… it wasn't too much to figure out."  
"And the mouthwash?"  
"It tasted funny and burned my throat…"  
"You weren't supposed to swallow it."  
"What?"  
"Don't worry, unless you drank the whole bottle, it isn't enough to kill you."  
"Jesus…"  
  
She fixed the ill-fitting shirt to cover her better, so the tops wouldn't fall off her shoulders, revealing anything.  
  
"You know, you told me you wanted kids…"  
"I didn't say I wanted a pre-teen. And I would want the kid to be mine…"  
"Do you think there's a way to prove that she isn't yours?"  
"I really can't be sure… its times like these that shows like Montel come in handy…"  
"Is that a talk show?"  
"Yeah, they can do paternity tests, the ultimate form of proof. But even the Mystics have no idea of how to do that…"  
"The Mystics have a lot of technology that I don't know about…"  
"What you saw in Ozzie's Fort was just the tip of the iceberg… there are entire cities underground that nobody knows about. And those little imps are smarter than you think… the ones you see up here are the rejects…"  
"Hmm… I don't really care about the imps…"  
"You should."  
  
Magus sat back and looked at her as she rested her head in her arms upon the table. He could hear the crunches of various shards under her shoes as she adjusted her footing. Sighing, she then lifted her head and grabbed the bottle of wine, and took a deep swallow of the sweet drink. Magus was surprised at her behavior.  
  
"There are glasses for that, you know."  
"Do you want me to help you prove that she's not yours?"  
"You could do that?"  
"You may still be an ass for hurting a kid's feelings, but the truth should be told."  
"She shouldn't be lied to."  
"Fine then. I'll help you disprove her accusations if you do one thing for me."  
"Anything you need."  
"You show me more of that Mystic life underground."  
"Deal."  
"I still don't like you…"  
  
***  
  
Spekkio sat in yet another one of the free rooms, staring at the still broken hunk of metal that was once a toy car… that was once the Entity…  
  
"Spekkio… deesa toy… isa reeely Entity?"  
"That's what I was told…"  
"Meesa confused… why Entity toy?"  
"You know that gold box that the Epoch runs on? Well, it may run the Wings of Time like an engine, but it has a hidden power when kicked into gear… if you activate it, it goes through a series of calculations, figuring out what the most improbable thing is in existence… its terribly difficult to understand…"  
"Spekkio talk."  
"Well, okay, it's completely and totally unpredictable… oh, you'll never understand this!"  
"Spekkio explain!"  
"It calculates the odds of the most… improbable thing in existence within its circuits and makes it more probable… this is too much…"  
"Damn it, Spekkio, talk!"  
"Okay! Crono! Calm down! It basically takes the most improbable thing in the universe and makes it happen. Which could be anything. So never activate it! It turned the Entity into the toy car. Are you good with that explanation?"  
"Meesa good. Deesa Entity…"  
"What I don't understand is why the world hasn't stopped existing yet! If I know anything about the Entity's workings, it runs existence as we know it, and without it, everything should stop existing. So why hasn't it?"  
"Maybe deesa no Entity."  
"You're saying that this isn't the Entity? You don't even understand the physics of this, you can't make such an accusation…"  
  
A sudden call came from outside.  
  
"Crono! Are you going to help or what?" called Marle  
"Marle's calling for you to go help clean up the mess in the other room…"  
"Meesa go. Talk later."  
  
Crono left the room, as Spekkio sat and played with the hunk of the car. Suddenly going over the conversation, he noticed that Crono happened so slip slightly out of his accent…  
  
***  
  
"Now if I remember anything correctly, back in Zeal, you, as Janus, didn't have big pointed ears."  
"No, they came over time… it's a funny story, really… I saw Flea back when I first came, and I told him his ears looked funny, and he put the curse on me, and since then, my ears have grown… but I grew fond of them… they-"  
"So it was a curse that made your ears so big and pointy."  
"Yeah."  
"A curse… that shouldn't affect your genealogy."  
"I'm a guy. I don't need gynecology."  
"No, genealogy… genetics. It doesn't affect your nuclei…"  
"You're amazing."  
"What?"  
"You sit here spouting off about genetics, but you don't know how to use a fork…"  
"Do you want my help or what?"  
"Fine, ignore my compliment."  
"So if that isn't in your DNA, it shouldn't be in hers. So her ears didn't come from you."  
"Janice was part Mystic, a halfling if you would. Her kid's ears could have come from her, even though Janice didn't show them."  
"Hmm… pointy ears must be a recessive trait…"  
"Exactly."  
"So if she has mixed traits… get me a paper and something to write with."  
  
Magus jumped up and went to one of the drawers, producing a pad of Sticky Notes and a ball point pen.  
  
"What are these?"  
"It's a pen and paper. Its not the same type of pen used in your world, its disposable… just write."  
"Okay… capital T and lowercase t…"  
  
She proceeded to draw a small table, a Punnett Square, with four boxes. On the top of the two boxes, she drew a T and a t…  
  
"Okay, was there a family history of large ears in your lineage?"  
"I can't be sure, I know that we didn't have big ears, but I can't say the same for my father's side…"  
"You don't remember your father?"  
"Do you remember my father?"  
"We never met him."  
"Neither did I."  
  
Lucca looked forlornly at the table that she drew. So close!  
  
"It's a plain guarantee that your dad didn't have these type of ears…"  
"But there's no way of knowing for sure since these type of ears isn't dominant…"  
"Exactly. You might have that trait in you without you knowing it, and you weren't born with the ears since plain ones are dominant. This leads us nowhere."  
  
She ripped off the piece of paper and crumpled it in her hand, and dropped it on the floor.  
  
"Next trait…"  
"My hair."  
"She doesn't have the same color as your hair… blue is your natural color, right?"  
"I wouldn't change it for the world."  
"And the hairline?"  
"Had it forever."  
"So you're stuck there…"  
  
A loud knock came from the front door.  
  
"Who would that be?"  
"I'm not expecting any visitors…"  
"It's probably the kid. Want me to go get it?"  
"No, I'll go."  
  
Magus left the table and made his way to the door. Opening it revealed Flea, alone, guitar in hand.  
  
"What do you want?"  
"Magus, the representatives we have from the underground have confirmed a state of unrest among the Mystics. After discussion, they traced it back to two reasons. Broken nails, and bad music."  
"And what do you want me to do about it?"  
"All they play on the Media Crystal are stupid boy bands and white rock rap. The people need real sound."  
"I finished with all of you when our last show was ruined!"  
"I'm not asking you to play! I'm not asking anybody to play! I'm doing it myself!"  
"You're going solo?"  
"Yeah. I decided its time that the Mystics had something worthwhile to listen to. I'm thinking something along the lines of Van Halen."  
"Hmm. Not a bad choice… but what are you bothering me for?"  
"I need to know if you have any spare equipment… any connectors, microphones, anything you're looking to get rid of."  
"Fine… come in… but if you touch anything, I'll murder you. Understand?"  
"Fine…"  
  
Flea, disgruntled, tromped inside behind Magus, and followed him into the kitchen.  
  
"What are YOU doing here?"  
"Mind your business, four eyes!"  
"Don't say a word to her, Flea." Said Magus, as he began to make his way up the stairs to his room.  
  
After Magus left, Flea let out a discontent sigh. He removed the ties holding his hair in place and let its waves fall over his shoulder. Lucca stared at Flea's bronze colored locks.  
  
"You have roots showing."  
"I know… my stupid natural color… I'll have to die it again."  
"Hmm… I didn't know you died your hair…"  
"What, you think colors this pretty come naturally? Just how stupid are you?"  
"Stupid? I don't think so."  
"Stupid, and very unfashionable. Where on earth did you get that horrendous outfit? Even that disgusting orange color was better than what you're wearing now, and that sent me into epileptic seizures…"  
"Oh please… you and your little white and bronze outfit… what did you do? Make your tights out of steel wool and leave them out in the rain to rust?"  
"Steel doesn't rust, you brainless bimbo!"  
"Quiet up, you jiggling juggernaut!"  
  
Flea grunted in anger, ignoring Lucca's final comment. Lucca decided to switch on the nearby Media Crystal, to see if there was something worth watching on. Switching the channels around, Lucca landed on the movie Wayne's World. Eventually, Magus came back, with a small, beat up black box, and a tangled cord.  
  
"This is what I have. Take it and go."  
"Thanks."  
  
Flea shook out his hair and left.  
  
"Look… he left a mess of his hair on the floor…"  
  
Magus leaned down and picked up Flea's hairs, completely ignoring the mounds of broken pieces of various other objects on the ground.  
  
"Back to business… now you know as well as I know that anybody can have a widow's peak. Its not the most common hairline but it still is around…"  
"Lucca…" he examined the bronze colored hairs of Flea in his hands. Flea's hairs were thick… like dental floss…  
"Yet another dead end. The doesn't prove you are the father, but it doesn't prove you aren't either."  
"Lucca, look…"  
  
He handed her one of Flea's bronze hairs.  
  
"Shiny, well kept, very thick… bronze except for the roots. What about them?"  
  
Magus produced the other hair he had previously found on the floor, after Crono and Glenn were returned to their human forms. Stretching it out, he handed it to Lucca.  
  
"This is one of the girl's hairs."  
"Look at Flea's roots."  
"They're the same color…"  
"She slept with Flea! Oh man… I'm getting nauseous… I think I'm gonna hurl…" Magus said, as the Media Crystal responded…  
  
"I say puke. If you hurl and she comes back, she's yours. If you blow chunks and she bolts, then it was never meant to be."  
  
Magus couldn't help but laugh.   
  
"The perfect quote…"  
"Huh?"  
  
Magus sat down, laughing, realizing that the quote was oh, so fitting to his situation…  
  
"That's it. I'm just going to finish the Epoch… this is all the proof you need. My job is done."  
  
Lucca stood and adjusted the black shirt to cover her shoulders better. She grabbed her belt off of the table and headed outside, while Magus watched her walk away, admiring her… sighing, he turned off the media crystal and let out one last snicker…  
  
***  
  
"Done… and… done!"  
  
Lucca finished screwing in the last tiny piece that would hold the Infinite Improbability Drive in place. She took a small rag in her hand and wiped off her greasy fingers, and placed her screwdriver on the ground. She walked around the front of it and jumped into the cockpit, pressing a button to activate it. Success! It was running! Lucca pulled a lever at her side, to control lift. Success again! The Epoch lifted off of the ground and hovered a miniscule three feet off of the ground. Not powered enough for heavy flying, but certainly enough to get them home. Now, to test the time travel mechanism… Lucca grasped for the dial next to the steering wheel and turned it to 1000ad. After setting it, she pushed a blue button that was right under it. The Epoch began to rumble loudly, but then stopped. It didn't work.  
  
"Damn it!"  
  
Lucca turned off the machine and jumped out, sliding her hand along the minimally corroded exterior. She examined the insides yet again, but there was nothing wrong. After a careful study, she noted that the blue button was hooked straight into the Infinite Improbability Drive. Apparently, the Epoch could harness that improbable energy, and that was Belthasar's secret for making it jump time… but why wasn't it working? What was the secret?  
  
"Hiya Lucca!"  
"Hey, Marle…"  
"Any success?"  
"I got it off the ground. But nothing more."  
"Aww man… that, like, so totally bites!"  
"What?"  
"I said it totally bites."  
"Okay, Marle. Rule number 1: Don't ever talk like that again. Rule number 2: Do not take after Alicia Silverstone!"  
"Oh, don't get so totally wigged, Lucca! Girl, you have to get your groove on!"  
"Marle… if you keep talking like that, I'm going to melt your lips shut. Say another word and I'll blast you. Okay?"  
"What EVAH! Loser! Oh, and we did your clothes for you, but they gotta dry."  
"Thanks, Mallrat… I mean Marle."  
  
Marle turned and walked away to sit with Crono and Glenn, who were enjoying the sunny afternoon. Lucca walked around the Epoch, eyeing its enhanced technologies, the wiring, the power source… it was all perfect! Or it should have been… angry, Lucca banged her fist on the outside of the Epoch.  
  
"Damn this blasted machine!"  
"Relax… relax, that's your ticket home!" said Magus, approaching carefully.  
"It's not working…"  
  
Magus walked over and watched as Lucca rested her arms down on the Epoch and lowered her head in angst. A chance! Magus placed his hand on her shoulder, as if to comfort her…  
  
"Back off, Magus. I still don't like you."  
"Why? Why do you have to hate me so much? All I try to do is be friendly."  
"I don't need you to be friendly. You get too friendly. Like the smooch when we were flying."  
"I was just trying to help."  
"What happened to the old, depressed, angry you, Magus? The one who always kept his mouth shut, whose purpose in life was to get revenge?"  
"He realized some things in life are more important than just hatred."  
"Well do me a favor and conjure up the old Magus! Go search for you sister or something and leave me alone!"  
  
Magus was astounded at her nasty remark.  
  
"That was harsh… you know if I knew where to look I'd be searching for her right now. I'd be away from this blinding castle, and with her. And I wouldn't have to deal with you pushing me away all the time, and it wouldn't kill me to be near you and have to have you treating me like dirt."  
"Magus…"  
"Back off."  
  
Magus turned and walked into the castle. Marle, sensing his angst, left Crono and Glenn and followed him.  
  
***  
  
"She said that?"  
"Yeah…"  
"That was way harsh."  
"I know. That's what I said."  
"She's probably just having a hard time with the Epoch, you know… girls can get really pissy sometimes."  
"Oh, that's a real help for me…"  
"Maybe you should go about her a different way. Be romantic."  
"Oh, yeah, I'm really the romantic type. I can seduce any woman with my piercing eyes and powerful words. I'm as eloquent as I am handsome. Not in this lifetime…"  
"Come on, Magus, you can be all of those things. And you are some of those things! I mean look at you. Tall, broad shouldered, muscular, good looking…"  
"Don't lie to me…"  
"Come on… why don't you conjure up some of that good old arrogance? A little self esteem never hurt anyone."  
"Vanity is a waste of time…"  
"Come on, Magus. Why don't you at least try it? Come on, try it out on me."  
"What?"  
"Come on! Say to me what you wish you could say to her."  
"I… I can't…"  
"Magus… you already confessed to me what you really were, a big softie. And yes, your secret will always be safe with me. We're buddies now! So get up, come on! Try it!"  
  
Sighing, Magus stood. Marle looked in straight in the eye and took his arm, and placed it around the small of her back.  
  
"Pretend I'm her. Come on, just think it… I'm Lucca, you're you, talk to me."  
"Lucca… uh…"  
"No, no no! Be romantic! You've watched your share of flicks on the crystal. Do like one of those romance films. Come on!"  
  
Breathing heavily, he shut his eyes and imagined her in his arms… her eyes, magnified through her glasses… her purple hairs swaying back and forth, falling over her ears… He pulled Marle closer to him, against his legs, and pressed hard against her…  
  
"Lucca… my dearest Lucca… she, the beauty of the ages whom I hold within my grasp… she with the most beautiful face in the world… your gorgeous smile preys upon me, your lips like a vicious weapon, of which I ache to kiss… to feel the softness, the warmness of your tongue is ecstasy in a human form, a taste better than that of the foods made by the greatest gourmets… and your eyes, magnified tenfold by your rimmed glasses, revealing to me the beauty of those deep dark pools that lie past them, calling to me… calling… saying Magus… Magus… take me… kiss me… kiss me deeply… take me… take me… and make love to me… and my dearest Lucca, I will… I will take you in my arms and kiss you with a kiss deeper than that ever possible beyond the dreams of those with the wildest imaginations… and I will take you, into my arms and hold you… and I will, my Lucca… I will make love to you, and delve into you depths, deeper than any other ever could… and with even the most gentile thrusts, I will make you scream and beg for mercy… and make you scream and beg for more…"  
  
Magus opened his eyes, as his lips were barely upon Marle's before he realized she was in a trance, barely breathing short breaths as she tried to keep herself steady, as she was bent backward over his arm, her lower portion pressed against his loins. She was barely able to stay alive as she spoke faintly.  
  
"Oh… oh yeah…" she whispered softly. "…that'll work… oh yeah… that'll work…"  
  
Her eyes crossed as she fell backward, unconscious. Magus felt a great relief after saying those words, although not to the intended… chuckling, he lifted Marle and placed her into the bed that Lucca had held before, and tucked her under the covers.  
  
"Thanks for being my friend, Marle…"  
  
Sighing, he placed a friendly hand on her cheek, and let her sleep, as he knew she hadn't slept in days. Then, Magus wondered… did he seduce her and make her faint, or did he seduce her and make her   
sleepy?  
  
  
Hot diggity damn! Did you read that? Did I write that? I guess I did. So Magus really does have it for Lucca. Will his strange new emotions be revealed in this next and final chapter, or will they remain unresolved? And stay tuned, for in the next chapter, one real truth will make itself known, to the young girl who wanted revenge against her father… or at least, her assumed father…  



	7. AND! The glorious finale.

epoch7 Sylvia sat near the entrance to the Magic Cave, swirling her sword around, as she had nothing better to do. Her mother had left her there for the moment, to go to some sort of meeting that Sylvia knew nothing about. There were always meetings, always places where her mother had to be... but her mother was not a politician, and they may have worked for the castle, but they weren't close to the royalty. In fact, any orders sent to them were sent through the knights, and they were done for little pay. 

Sighing, Sylvia fell backward into the grass, swaying her sword back and forth, slicing off the tips of the blades of grass. When would her mother return? Sylvia wanted her revenge against her father desperately. She hated him. She loathed him. She despised him. Sylvia recalled the stories her mother would tell her about him... how he would never acknowledge that he had a daughter, and how he used her mother, and coaxed her under his bed sheets... 

The stories were always the same about him, and his relationship with mother, how he always lied to her, how he always told her they would never need to be careful because "everything would work out in the end..." But things never worked out. And her father abandoned her mother... yeah, that was always the story... no matter who Janice claimed to father to be... 

"Sylvia!"   
"Mom! Are we ready?"   
"Yeah... does my hair look flat?" Janice asked, her messy red curls falling over her shoulders.   
"It looks all messed up. Where were you?"   
"Your mother was just getting some work done. Come on, its time to get your father back for what he did to you!" 

Janice took Sylvia by the hand and walked her toward the castle. 

* * * 

"What is the secret? Spekkio, tell me!"   
"I'm not allowed to! I already have said too much!"   
"Spekkio, there is a way to make this stupid machine work, and its up to you to tell me so I can get home!"   
"Lucca..."   
"Spit it out!"   
"No!" Spekkio crossed his arms and turned around in disgust. "I will not reveal the secret of the Drive"   
"Spekkio... damn it!"   
"No!" 

Lucca started banging on the Epoch, her face so red with heated anger that you could fry an egg on it. She looked at Spekkio, who insisted on keeping quiet... Lucca stared at his Nu form, and her eyes glared at the special point she knew to be the Nu scratch spot... 

Rolling up her sleeves, she took her index finger and started scratching lightly... 

"Ooh.... ooh... oh... eee..." said Spekkio, as Lucca started scratching a bit harder.   
"No... I won't say it... ooh..."   
"Come on, Spekkio, you know you can't resist..."   
"Ooh... Uh.... ohhh.... eeeeh... eh... eh... ooh!" Lucca started scratching furiously, but not hard enough to hurt Spekkio's rubber like skin.   
"OOh! AAAH! EEEEEEEEEK! TEA! TEA! ITS TEA!" 

Lucca stopped scratching Spekkio's back and gave his arm a friendly tap. 

"Thanks Spekkio, you really helped!"   
"Oh... you vixen you... fine then! Use the secrets of the ages!" 

* * * 

A short time passed while Lucca searched inside the castle for any remnant of any type of tea, the anxiety building in her stomach. She wanted to go home... she wanted to sleep for a day... and let all her worries drain away into her dreams... 

Magus noticed Lucca's search and approached her shyly, daydreaming of saying to her what he said to Marle. He offered his help to her as she searched for any remnants of any tea, whether it was a used tea bag or even some of that formaldehyde tea that poisoned Lucca earlier... but she would have no help from him, and instead, he went to take care of the sleeping Marle. Realizing just how close they were to getting home, he decided to wake her, and even though she resisted, she eventually sat up and woke herself, promising herself that she would finish her sleep later on. 

Crono and Glenn watched the Epoch on the outside, as the search continued on the inside of the castle. Glenn stared at the machine, eyeing its parts, the jumbled messes of wire hooked up the gloriously glowing gold box in the center. After careful consideration, Glenn decided that some things needed to be cleaner... He unhooked several little bits and pieces of wire and rearranged them carefully, so the colors would look better around each other. 

And Spekkio would wander around the sides of the castle, muttering Biblical prophecies concerning the end of the world according the Christianity and how they pertained to the Apocalypse that was soon to come when the Entity's final hand let go of its grasp on existence... 

* * * 

"I... I think I found some! Yes! It's one of those tea bags! It has one single drop left on it..."   
"Wait! Don't even move..."   
"Marle, this is our way home... we can finally go home!"   
"Don't shake it! I'll go get Magus. We'll go outside." 

* * * 

Lucca squeezed the bag carefully over the box, but nothing would come out of it... the single drop left had fallen on the way out, and hope for tea seemed lost. 

"Damn it... our last hope is gone..."   
"Lucca..."   
"Glenn... this is it... stuck here forever!"   
"Come on, Lucca... don't cry now..."   
"Well why shouldn't I? I'm stuck in a world not my own, I'm tired, I haven't slept in days, I spent hours and hours trying to fix this machine that Glenn went and screwed up because it LOOKED funny..."   
"Aww man..."   
"I don't want to be here... I'd rather be dead than have to live here!"   
"I can arrange that!" 

The girl jumped from the sky and landed a few yards of length away from the entire crew, who were huddled around the Epoch. 

"I've come to take what's mine."   
"And what might that be, brat?" asked Magus, as he walked around the side of the Epoch.   
"Revenge on you!" 

The girl quickly summoned a quick water spell of great weakness that flew from her fingertips, but she was still too slow, as Magus was able to block the rushing water that came from above him, and send it behind him, right onto the Epoch. 

"Damn it, Magus! You drenched the wiring!"   
"Whoopsie..." Magus said, somewhat pleased... maybe Lucca would have to stay longer?   
"Wait! Lucca! Look! Water got on the tea bag! Squeeze it!" 

Lucca squeezed the tea bag carefully, and watched as but the tiniest drop fell from the tea bag, and landed smack dab in the center of the Infinite Improbability Drive. Lucca started laughing as tears of relief and joy fell from her eyes. Home was within her grasp! 

"Damn you... you tricked me..."   
"Why don't you concentrate on hurting me, brat, instead of the innocent bystanders?"   
"Because they're all a part of it! All of them!" 

She drew her sword and lunged toward Magus, who grabbed her arm and pinned her on the ground. 

"I'm too fast for you, girl..."   
"Watch yourself or I'll slice off your ear!" 

The girl kneed Magus in the groin and rolled out from under him, then standing at attention. Magus, who was wearing his hard armor at the time, was able to recover quite quickly, and stood. 

"Father certainly does have pretty ears..."   
"I am not your father!"   
"So prove it, Janus! Prove it!" yelled Janice, who approached from the distance.   
"Do you really want me to prove it? Hmm?"   
"You can't prove shit, daddy..."   
"You hold your tongue... I don't care if you're my daughter or not, I will not be cursed at!"   
"Sylvia! Where did you learn such words?" yelled Janice, as she came, out of breath.   
"From you." replied the girl, quietly.   
"You say those again and I'll have your head!"   
"Don't speak to your kid like that, Janice." Magus said threateningly.   
"Don't tell me how to raise my daughter!"   
"So she is your daughter! And not mine! You said it!"   
"You... no! She is yours too! The ears!"   
"I wasn't born with these ears! They came from elsewhere!"   
"You lie... then what about the hair?"   
"What about yours?"   
"What do you mean what about mine?"   
"What's under your bandanna, Janice? You know, I have never seen your bangs before..."   
"That's because you were too busy banging me!"   
"You would use such words in front of your child?"   
"It's nothing she hasn't heard before!"   
"Why do you say such things in front of me, Mom?" 

Everyone fell silent, as Sylvia sheathed her sword and looked her mother solemnly in the eye. 

"You know, we used to watch that Crystal that I found all the time... all those shows with those people... they never said words, the parents never said dirty things around their kids..." 

Magus watched as the child confronted her mother, and stood back, no longer worrying about an attack from her. Instead, he joined Lucca, Marle, Glenn, and Crono, as they stood around the Epoch, watching the argument ensue. 

"What is under your bandanna, mother? You used to play with my hair all the time, and you would never let me play with yours. Why?"   
"Well... I have curly hair... it gets tangled a lot."   
"So? I can comb it."   
"Janice, remove the bandanna. Show your daughter the truth." said Magus, quietly.   
"Yeah, Mom... show me..." 

Janice stood backward, her arms on her hips. 

"You will not toy with me, child! I am the mother! My word is LAW!" 

Sylvia drew her sword once again and swiftly cut at the bandanna on her mother's head. Everyone's jaws gaped open as they saw the pink cloth fall to the floor. There, on Janice's forehead, was a perfectly formed widow's peak. 

"So, Mother... I got all my features from Father, right?"   
"This doesn't prove anything! He is still your father!"   
"I am not the father of the child. And here is the final proof." Magus produced the two small hairs, the long green one being Sylvia's, the shorter bronze one being Flea's. He approached the girl cautiously, and she stared him in his red eyes as she took the hairs in her hand. 

"The one on the left is your own. The one on the right..."   
"Is my father's... the thickness... the texture... the root color..."   
"And that's not my hair. My hair is one of the few family traits of mine that stay generation after generation, from my mother."   
"You lied to me... you lied to me, Mom..."   
"Sylvia! It's just a hair! Its nothing!"   
"IT'S ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT YOU LIED TO ME! Three times you lied to me about my father! Three men have I hated for no reason! NO MORE! I will not be lied to again!" She yelled, as she turned and prepared to walk away.   
"Sylvia, don't you dare leave my side, you are my daughter..." 

Sylvia turned and faced her mother, a look of dread on her face. 

"Not anymore." She walked away slowly. Janice, shocked, grabbed Sylvia's lengthy hair and pulled her back, but Sylvia responded by swiftly slapping her mother in the face.   
"Goodbye, mother..." 

She jumped into the air, and disappeared from sight. 

"See what you did, Janus? See?"   
"I only showed your child the truth. You were the one that lied to her." 

Magus turned and walked back over to the Epoch, to join the rest, who were all still staring at Janice. 

"You can go now, Janice. Your presence is no longer welcome on my property." 

Janice, thoroughly embarrassed, turned and walked away. 

* * * 

Lucca jumped in the back seat of the Epoch, tired and angry. 

"I fixed it, I fueled it, I welded the hood shut. I'm not driving it!"   
"Crono, you drive." said Marle, standing in the Epoch. Crono nodded and stood behind her.   
"So you guys are finally leaving..."   
"So happy to see us go, Magus?" replied Marle, laughing somewhat.   
"Maybe..." he said angrily, but he let go and smiled, holding his hand out to Marle, to shake.   
"Oh, come on, Magus..." she said, as she pulled him into a friendly embrace. "We're all closer than that." 

She gave him a friendly kiss on the cheek which he gladly returned, and they let go. Smiling, Marle gave him a pat on the shoulder and sent him to Crono. 

"I wonder what your mother will say when she finds out you can talk..."   
"She'll wish he had never started speaking..." said Marle, laughing.   
"Meesa speak well! Marle wude."   
"Oh shut up, Crono..." 

Magus started to shake hands with Crono, who pulled Magus into yet another friendly hug. Magus hesitated, but then allowed himself to be hugged... he certainly didn't want to hug Crono, but he felt obliged... until he pushed Crono away. 

"I ain't kissing you."   
"Meesa no kiss Magus. Magus no gay, Crono no gay." 

Magus laughed some, and moved over to Lucca, who refused to stand. Magus just stood over her and looked at her, her eyes closed, her arms crossed. 

"Come on, Lucca... when are you going to realize that I'm not such a bad guy after all?" 

Lucca hesitated, but looked at him eventually, and sighed. Standing, she gripped Magus loosely around his waist and gave him a slight hug. He placed his arms carefully on her shoulders, enjoying the short but sweet moment he would be able to hold her... building up his courage somewhat, he kissed her on the cheek, and she returned it, the tiny peck making him feel so warm and comfortable... he glanced over to Marle, who winked at him slyly. Smiling somewhat, Magus let go and looked Lucca in her eyes. She smiled meekly, and then plopped back down in her seat, shutting her eyes. 

"Say, where is Spekkio?" asked Marle.   
"He's been wandering around my castle, still expecting the end of the world to come... why don't you guys take him with you?"   
"No can do. No room, and you remember the rules... if we take more than 3, we end up in the End of Time, no matter whether we're in a gate or the Epoch." said Lucca.   
"Isn't that where he has to go anyway?" asked Magus.   
"You know, Lucca, he has a point there..." Marle said.   
"So go get him. I don't care. As long as I can get home and sleep..."   
"I'll go look for him..." said Magus, as he turned and made his way around the side of the castle. Behind him, he could hear Glenn exchanging hugs and laughing with Marle and the rest... 

"Hmm... maybe hugs aren't so bad after all..." he said to himself as he made his way around the side of the castle, walking near the bushes, so he didn't get lost in the unfamiliar terrain that was his home... he sighed some, and spotted a slight inconsistency in the color of the bushes... 

"Kid?" he asked, realizing why the color was so familiar. There was no real response, only a slight cry coming from within the bushes. Approaching slowly, he noticed that the girl was sitting right under the bush, hidden behind her dark cape. 

"What are you still doing around? I thought you left when your mother did..." 

The girl didn't speak, she only wiped her nose and continued to cry. 

"Are you going to sit there all day?"   
"Why'd you have to disprove me?"   
"What?"   
"Why couldn't you just play dad? Why'd you have to go and tell me..."   
"Would you rather that I lied to you?"   
"You were the third father... the third one that my mother told me about..." 

He sat there silently, watching her, somehow understanding her. She looked so lonely there, just like him... and fatherless, and as if that wasn't bad enough, her mother wasn't any help either. Just like his. 

"You know, I had three fathers also."   
"What?"   
"Well, they weren't really fathers, they were more like mentors, or teachers... three old men who were the only male figures that I had around me. They really didn't act like fathers, but I couldn't expect them to..."   
"No kidding..." 

She paused again and wiped her leaky nose, and then shifted her position... 

"What am I doing here? Look at me... just a little twelve-year-old girl, sitting and crying... I'm wasting my time here. I have to go find some cash... a place to stay..." 

She stood up and wiped off her clothes, her eyes still red from crying. He couldn't help but feel for her, even though she did try to kill him... 

"Sylvia, you know, with everybody leaving and such, it'd get really quiet around here. I mean, there's Glenn, but he's always bound to cause trouble..."   
"So?"   
"Why don't you stick around for a while? Maybe stay with me."   
"Really?"   
"Sure... I'm being way too nice lately, but I can't help it..."   
"Would you be my dad?"   
"What?"   
"I know you're not my real dad... but maybe you could play as one..."   
"If it'll make you feel better, I suppose..."   
"Thanks..." 

He took her hand and walked with her toward the front of the castle, where he was bombarded by Spekkio, who was running at him at full speed. 

"Magus! Magus! The world isn't going to end! It isn't going to end!"   
"Yeah, Spekkio, I kind of figured out when… umm… it didn't…"   
"I found the Entity, also… and you'll never believe what it is?" 

Spekkio turned and ran back towards the Epoch, where everybody was waiting. Magus began to walk, when Sylvia stopped him. 

"I can't go."   
"Why not?"   
"Because they all hate me… I turned two of them into animals, and I almost killed the one you're in love with…"   
"How did you know about that?"   
"I was in the closet the whole time…"   
"Oh Jesus…"   
"They'll yell at me!"   
"Don't worry about them, Sylvia… they're very forgiving people. Believe me, I should know." 

Magus continued walking, with Sylvia tagging along behind him… 

"Magus, you'll never believe who the Entity is." Said Glenn, as Magus arrived.   
"Who is the Entity?"   
"Remember when Spekkio came running with the car the first time around?"   
"Yeah?"   
"Remember how it was packaged?"   
"In a box with a note on it."   
"Yeah." 

Magus paused for a second. 

"You mean…"   
"The box was the Entity!"   
"You've got to be kidding me…"   
"Nope."   
"Everyone, everyone, my master, the Entity, will speak to all of you right now…" said Spekkio, as he placed the box on the ground. The box's top flaps began to wave back and forth, as if they were the box's lips… 

"Greetings time warriors. I come bearing news of the Apocalypse."   
"Uhh, Mister Entity, wasn't the Apocalypse the name for when Lavos arose?" asked Marle, worriedly.   
"I mean the real Apocalypse, when this world will cease to exist."   
"Tell us Mister Entity… is there a way to stop it?" asked Lucca.   
"I'm afraid not…"   
"So will you tell us when it will happen?" asked Magus. There was a long pause, and wind could be heard coming from the box, as it sighed. 

"The world will end when the New Kids On The Block make it on Total Request Live." 

Everybody stood there, standing in awe that the box. Magus, the only one present who actually knew what Total Request Live was, broke the dreadful silence. 

"Uhh, Mister Entity? That happened already, on March 11th, 1999, in the world where the Inter-Dimensional Media Crystal gets its programming from.."   
"Oh, really?"   
"Yeah. They made it to number 2. It shocked the hell out of me."   
"No kidding… okay then, never mind!" 

The box started to suddenly turn blue, and a blast of energy shot it straight up into the air… until it disappeared from sight. 

"Well well well… crisis averted!"   
"Crisis averted? The New Kids On The Block were more evil than I was!"   
"Oh… were they anything like those Backstreet folks? I liked them…"   
"They're just as evil, Marle…"   
"Oh." 

And so, with the help of a little television, Crono, Marle, Lucca, and Spekkio could all retire to their native homes worry free, but not before Marle grabbed that extra Media Crystal that Magus brought back from his trip with Lucca… 

And Sylvia and Magus became great friends indeed, as close as a father and daughter should be, always there for one another, both trying to keep Glenn from watching the Media Crystal when the Rocky Horror Picture Show was on… 

And Flea, unknowing of his daughter, set off into the Imp Underground City, and indeed, found several people to join his band. And through time, they did become relatively famous without the castle knowing it. And his popularity grew when he became known as the great "David Flea Roth" of the band that came to be known as "Man Halen…" 

And such is the word of the Storyteller.   
  



End file.
